Exactly what you need when you need it.

I walked into church today exhausted.  Completely feeling overwhelmed, and tired.

I didn't have a bad attitude about it all...just that I was tired..I knew this was the best place for me to be today.

As the service progressed the pastors opened the front for prayer, or worship, depending on what people were wanted to do.

I saw Pastor Kevin and thought, I need him to pray for me.  Instantly, the next thought was, I don't need Kevin, I need Jesus.

I went forward looking for more.  There has to be more than this run around, exhausting life....right?

I started praying for God to show up, in a big way, then I thought, screw the rest of them, *I* want more.  So I changed the way I was praying and specifically for me and for what I have been working through this Summer.

This Summer I had  started reading in the old testament, it was my goal to go through I and II Kings, kind of as a study, but I wound up in I Samuel....and I have stayed there for months.

I have been really thinking, studying about the story of Hannah.  There are so many facets to it.  I have found that every couple of days, it seems that I have a new part of the story come to life--it's been amazing.

The one part of the story I am completly stuck on is:  How Hannah prayed for her child.  She didn't have him yet, but she prayed for him for a long time.  She was mocked and taunted for it.  Her integrity called into question, but she continued to trust God and pray.  In my head I think, she must have prayed for YEARS before her request was answered in the form of her son, Samuel.  She dedicates him to the Lord and releases him to the Service of God.

I have been stuck on how long and how faithfully she prayed for her son.

Sometimes, I just get tired of praying for my kids.  I know this is going against what the church would say, but today, I was just weary.

When I went forward to pray, I felt lifted and the Spirit of God was poured out on me.  I spoke in tongues, and prayed specifically for my boy.  (Hello Max.)  :)

I want to be perfectly clear here.  I don't want him to have the same relationship with God as I do.  That can't be possible.  Max and I are very different people God is the only constant....

So, I pray that He would have a relationship with God, however that looks like for him.  That the blessing of God would fall upon him, He would have clarity for his future.

So, I realized Kent was with me, which was a good thing.  I couldn't move off the floor.  Thank you to Chemotherapy, I have very little muscle mass left and no strength.  So, Kent helped me off the floor.

Thank you to Kent.

I went back to my seat and I felt full, powerful and restored.

God knows exactly what we need when we need it, before we realize we are in need.

It just takes some listening skills and a big dose of obedience.