His Righteous Right Hand

It's been way too long.

I don't like Christmas and I struggle most years to get through this coming Month.  It's compounded this year with the thought that we won't be all under the same roof -- I am learning this year, that sharing is caring.

Whatever.

Today, I booked the day off -- just to be off.  Instead, my body said, I'm tired, I have a cold.  It's turned into a sick day....a pajama day.  I have one of these per year....today I decided I could actually get dressed and use my pj day another day....next month.

I decided to get up, get coffee and get baking.  I love being in my kitchen.

As I opened my red binder--that holds all my Christmas recipes I found this:

This time last year--Kent had been part of a restructuring of the company that left him on the short end of the stick.  Last hired, first laid off.

It was an ugly day, November 15, 2012 seemed like what else do we have to go through this year? I should've kept my thoughts to myself.  Shortly after that, we were in 2 car accidents and then found out that our precious Daughter and Son-in-law were moving out of the province.

I had words with God.  They weren't pretty but he's a big God, with big shoulders and could handle my heartache and anger.

Today, finding this note in my baking it was propelled back to the beginning of December 2012.  Kent spent 12-14 hour days at the dining room table putting together his technical resume.  He worked very hard to get everything together for a job search.

I started to bake and we had committed to going to New York (with Kent) on December 31 to help with Hurricane Sandy relief and we didn't know how God was going to repair our hearts and prepare us for New York, HOW would we pay for it?  HOW could we give when we are so wounded ourselves?

Little by little, step by step, we walked away from the Annus Horriblus/Annus Mirabilis that was 2012--and learned to lean on God, supporting each other, finding the BEST in every situation.

So, 1 year later:  Last night I marveled that we had extras for dinner 3 times this week.  I am surrounded by boys--and I am loving every minute of it.  

Our lives have definitely changed since that little green piece of paper was written on.  We feel more at home here, we have great jobs, we have a happy, full home and I know more than ever that we are being held up by His Righteous Right Hand.

Isaiah 41:10So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Goodbyes and Tears.

So there it is.  The weekend is gone.  I am so thankful for the time we had with you and Jonathan...it is very, very precious to me...and I know it is with Dad and Max.

Watching Max get grumpy while playing ticket to ride I know that he doesn't want you both to go, and yet he doesn't use words to express it--so he gets grumpy.  Then I realize, Dad and I are doing the same thing.

I know that we will never have a chance to have you in our house 24-7-365, but man I wish we could.

Thank you for this weekend.  Thank you for coming here, spending money, not studying so we could spend time talking and bonding.

Melissa, you have been such a joy to me.  I love you so much, I miss you terribly.  I wish I could roll back time to our "Friday Morning Coffee Dates", Driving to soccer practices, piano lessons, I think knowing what I know now, I would cherish these times a little more.

So, I let you go.  I want you to know that it comforts me a great deal to know that you have such a great man standing beside you, who loves you, who is holding you up, cheering you on -- on a day-today basis.  Thank you Jonathan.  You are a prize for this family.  You have elevated us--and I hardly think you know how much we love you.

Thank you for serving God.  It's one thing that no matter what it looks like for you, I know that the Spirit of the Lord is in you.  You can handle anything because He gives you the strength to do it.

So, please know this.  You are loved.  You are cherished.  I am so thankful for the bits and pieces of time we have with you both.  They are never, every long enough.

And if I could go one step too far, because, well, let's face it -- it's what I do....I'd love to have you both back in BC, even on the Island...I don't want to pressure you both, but as a Mom I can honestly say, that close is never close enough.

I love you so very, very much.  I am so very proud of who you are and all you have accomplished with little to no help from your parents!  You used to say as a baby, "I can do it myself!"

And I can honestly say, You can, you really, really can!

Love Mom

Aaaaaand we're back online

So after a couple day hiatus, we are back online.  Telus, you did good.

Having a couple day break from the internet was actually quite amazing.  I didn't miss it like I thought I would.

Whew.  My addiction isn't as bad as I thought it was.

I love technology.  I love my TV, eReader, phone, computer......ahhhhhh.

It's nice to know that I have gained some balance in my life....I no longer sleep with my phone.

Melissa and Jon are on their way home.  I can hardly wait.  Jamie and Josh may be coming too--Max is here...This does my Mama heart good.

Family photos are booked for this weekend with http://blog.bluebottlephotography.com/ I can't wait to see what they turn out like!

Stay tuned!

I'm on my way

My internet connection is broken.

I am choked, because I use it a lot, but also because it was broken...on purpose.....by accident.

We have a student living with us that is completely addicted to gaming. Because he is 17 the school and his parents have asked that we help him limit his gaming.

So, we set parameters. They were broken.

To help him Kent blocked his access from 11 pm-7 am, he manipulated the router and assigned a new password. At this point we were frustrated. Then, in an attempt to miss school and game the day away, Kent blocked him from the internet for the day.

He then did some unspeakable act to my router causing it to fail on the street. Our neighbours may or may not have Internet access....We now have a tech guy coming to fix the problem.

The first problem to fix is the kid is moving on. The school has found him a new HomeStay Family and we send him along with our best wishes for a prosperous school year.

I can't even remember how many rules he has broken, but when he lit a cigarette in my house, I. Was. Done.

The second is getting my dang router working.

So last night, with no TV or Internet....I read. Gasp, right? No, I read all the time, when I say all the time, I point to my record of last year, 27 450+paged books in 12 months.

Bam.

The problem with reading so much is I retain so much. So much so, my head doesn't turn off at night.

So a couple nights ago, while tossing and turning....I started a sermon in my head. I was bright, I was funny, I had a great example....I even had the Pentecostal 3 points down!

I was thinking about the top 3 reasons why I have been able to live my life to now. I actually remember thinking in elementary school “I'll never live to be ____.” 20, 25? Heaven forbid 30.

When asked how I was able to handle all this it comes to 3 short answers that I know and believe to the bones of me:

1. God LOVES me. I am completely loved.

2. He doesn't give me MORE than I can handle.
3. He gives me the STRENGTH to get through it. Not on my OWN strength but leaning on His.

Pretty much my life in a nutshell. So, Sunday night, I go to sleep with this warm, yummy feeling of I can do it, because God has done 1,2,3 for me!

Today, coming home from work, I am greeted by an anxious student who has decided he doesn't want a new HomeStay Family. Uh, whatever. I point to the list of broken rules. He says, “My friend tells me that his Homestay doesn't make the food. I want to stay here.”

I realize my lasagna is not going to be ready by 6. Alternate plans are needed ASAP. I start a Beef Stroganoff.

My phone beeps, “Mama Kim :(“

And I am in tears. Complete meltdown. One of my precious kids has tried to commit suicide and is in the hospital.

I am on my way. Mama's comin'.

Not everyone lives in the state of mind like I do. I have learned to battle back the negative reel-to-reel that whirls in my head.

God loves you. He will never give you more than you can handle. He will give you the strength to get through it.

The sermon floating in my head was not for me....I didn't realize God was prepping me for my precious one.

And Mama's on her way. To hold you, to hold you up, to point you back to HOPE.