Happy Easter

Dinner for 10 is almost ready, table is set!

I have the ham in the crockpot, deluxe potatoes in the oven on time bake and salads in the downstairs fridge.

All I have to do is pull it out of it's place and put it on the table!

Ta-da!

I just have to figure out some dessert and I will be all done!

Easter.  Spring.  New life.

My almost favourite time of year--it means that Summer is coming--my favourite time of year.

Today, Kent is singing in 3 services--I can't wait to go and hear him.  We will be surrounded by our kids both biological and adopted.  What an amazing life we lead.

With all the bumps and bruises of the last number of years--it's days like today when I am so thankful for my relationship with God, with Kent and our kids.

I'm blissed out thankful today.

God is good. All the time.

Today started out so good.  Today is Wednesday, Kent and I have a breakfast date every Wednesday.  I got to start my day with Kent time, a homemade muffin (by me) and coffee.

Today is also Administrative Professionals Day.  I was gifted a bouquet of flowers and a latte.  Nice!

By 10 am, I was looking for some tea.  It took me until 10.30 am to get it made, but I did it.  At 4.20 pm, I was dumping said tea down the sink in the staff room. I hadn't even had a chance to take a single sip from my cup.

I work hard.  I try my level best to be faithful, truthful and hardworking.  At times that doesn't make me a "favourite", but the Managers, Director and Executive Directors that I work with--trust me and I have favour with them.

But is the neigh sayers that I listen to.  Why?!

I was feeling really down by the time I got out of the office in time to miss my bus.  So, I went for a walk.  Found a stop about 5 stops from my "normal" stop and boarded the next bus.  I got on the bus and started reading my e-reader.  Blissed out--and texted Kent that I was on my way home.

I was feeling weighted down by work, by our situation with Kent being out of work, my worries were mounting...by the time I got home I was in tears.

I talked it all through with Kent and as usual, he talked me off my ledge.

Then Ricardo and his Mom came in.  She is visiting from Mexico.  What an amazingly beautiful woman.  She is truly kind.  We have been amazingly blessed by having Ricardo and Jordan in our home this year.  Something that I commented to Kent that a couple boys that are so amazing, must have come from amazing parents.

We had a little visit, they dropped off groceries, they will be making dinner tomorrow for Ricardo's birthday (I've made a homemade carrot cake).  But the groceries just kept coming in and coming in and coming in.

I was confused as to how many people they were expecting to feed.  Then Araceli said, no, this is for you!  I said thank you.  I mean, I am unbelievably grateful for her amazing generosity.  We feed so many people--this is just such a relief and a blessing.

Kent and I settled into the evening tonight, I was logging into my computer thanking Jesus.  Seriously thanking God that we have listened to that still, small voice to take Jordan and Ricardo into our home.  Believe me, after our last student experience, Kent and I didn't want to have another student.  We just *knew* that taking them was right.

Whether you believe in karma, or what-goes-around-comes-around, or "God helps those who help themselves", I believe that God is faithful.  He listens to my heart and my prayers and knew I was starting to get worried, although I have prayed that I would be able to believe that He has us in his Righteous Right Hand (Isaiah 41:10).  At times, this "ducks in a row" kind of girl has a hard time with not having everything planned out.

I logged into facebook, and I saw this:

I know that I made it through today because I was being prayed for.  This prayer is from Rob Penny, Youth Pastor at Colwood Church.  I know that my Mom and Dad and Kent's mom pray for us every day.  I know that I walked out today with the strength of the Lord, my words and actions peppered by His Grace.

God is good.  All the time.

As a side note, while I was working today on a project I put my earbuds in and listened to music on my phone.  As I was working this song came on:

David Crowder--You Alone

I was rocketed back to a warm summer night when Kent and I were on a blanket, listening to David Crowder at CreationFest, I was sitting with my bestie, worshiping my God....a very simple time of life--I know I am truly blessed.

Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Take that Cancer. There's a party going on up there.

I have very little to say right now, maybe more will come.

Precious.  She was very precious.  Her name was Denise, she was a friend, she was a teacher, a mentor, a mom and a wife.

She was precious.

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints.  Psalm 116:15 

In 2005/2006 I was in preparation mode to take about 20 teens and a young adult male leader to Mexico.  Denise, offered to give us 7 weeks of Spanish lessons. We jumped at her offer.

Every Thursday night for 7 weeks we gathered, (along with people who were serious about learning Spanish), and for 2 hours we had lessons from Denise.

I am sure we irritated her, we pushed her patience.  We had a blast.  It was some of the highlight of my students week.  Who can forget Reid playing "Spanish Pictionary" and Can-tar?

Since that time we were friends--as much as I will allow an adult woman near enough to be a friend...let's be clear.  Adult, Christian Women scare the crap out of me....she knew it--she was amazing.

Her battle with Cancer is over, she is with Vicki, with Jesus, partying it up in Heaven, it's a really important weekend here--although I don't know if they keep a calendar in Heaven, they must mark this weekend with importance right?

Denise, say hi to Jesus for me.  Tell him thank you, He's been great.  I am so thankful to have known you, to call you friend--but more importantly, I am thankful you are home.

We will be praying for M and M.

27 Years

Today marks the 27th anniversary of the day Kent asked me to be his girlfriend.

I just want to say, Men, you need to ask.  The old school romaticism is not lost...I was won over by his kindness, he was dang attractive, but his polite and old school, over-the-top consideration of me was amazing.

We've been going strong for a long time.

The day he asked me out we had spent the day helping a newly widowed woman and her very young family spring clean her house and Kent and a friend named Henry Spenst burned off her 10 acres.  It was the 2nd weekend in a row that we had been out at her house helping out.  There were probably 10 of us in all.

After working all week, spending 2 weekends in a row helping out this woman, I was exhausted. Kent asked what I was going to do that night and I responded with T.V. and Tea....possibly a blankie....

He joined me in my very lightly steeped tea and some random T.V. show.

I was intrigued with the fact that he was so like minded as me.  Just so you know...helping the newly widowed woman, neither of us knew her, she wasn't part of our church.  I remember getting a call asking if I could pull some people together -- to help her.  For me, helping others is a no brainer...I was intrigued that Kent was so on board to help.

If you've read this blog-this isn't a new thing.  I love helping the homeless, disenfranchised--it is a part of me as much as my legs and feet.

Yesterday, Kent dropped Ricardo and I off at school and work, then this happened.  He sent me an email after it happened:

Detour

‎So I did something this morning that you have done far many more times than me. I was compelled in compassion and love for a homeless young guy, Michael, who was leaning against a signpost, with his crutches, on the boulevard at Cook and Pandora, in the pouring rain. 

I tried to ignore him as I passed, but instead found myself circling around in traffic , stopping again and asking him if he would like breakfast and to hop in. He said someone was expecting him to be there later, so I remembered what you said about they 'can't leave their post' or someone else will swoop in and take it. I circled around again to get back on my way, but as I approached Mickey-Ds I realized I had to reach out to him, so I picked up a breakfast with OJ and returned. There is a pullout there, so I was able to talk to him for a few minutes and encourage him and (glad it was there) give him the Gideon's bible as a gift for Easter. He is probably 30 years old and showing the hard life, but really a rather nice guy. 

That's my morning adventure. Thanks for being a good example. 

I am so proud of Kent.  It takes some super compassion to go out of the way to help someone, to understand the "homeless culture", to know that you don't have extra money -- being out of work...but still following the leading of the Holy Spirit and do what's right.

Matthew 25:24-40

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 

36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 

38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 

39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Susan, is this the world you want?

I have been thinking a lot about my friend Vicki.  I know that her birthday is coming up and I think that is why I have been "camped" thinking about her.

This week this broke at work (I work in Research):

B.C. Cancer Agency nurse banned for falsifying patient records

Susan D'Aloisio admitted to falsifying records of patients' vital signs over at least a seven year period

This story has made me pause.

I had to think back to all the amazing staff that works at BC Cancer Agency Vancouver Island Centre, next door to my office, who are amazing, brilliant, compassionate and professional...and thank God for them.

I would hope that they get to the bottom of Susan's breech--I know that they said that no patients were harmed during the time of this treatment, but in the back of my head lingers....how much further ahead would Research be if she had been honest.

Honest people.  Whether you are a garbage truck driver or a nurse.  Honesty in work--Integrity in work--work ethic....it's a reflection of who you are..at the core of your being.  Who you are (at the core of who you are) affects the people around you--whether you want it to or not.

Susan, is this the world you want?  Just wondering.

THE WORLD YOU WANT LYRICS

SWITCHFOOT

(Verse)
I’m kickin in the pieces
I’m trying out the innocence
I’m trying to fix a place that feels broken

(Verse)
All my words are failing me
My voices don’t unveil me
I’m trying to say the hope that’s unspoken

(Chorus 1)
Is this the world you want?
Is this the world you want?
You’re making it
Every day you’re alive
Is this the world you want?
Is this the world you want?
You’re making it

(Verse)
The roof is so malicious
We thought like it will miss us
Feels like a way in business lost

(Verse)
‘Cause when I stop to listen
All the moments I’ve been missin
I finally hear a voice I can trust

(Chorus 1)
Is this the world you want?
Is this the world you want?
You’re making it
Every day you’re alive
Is this the world you want?
Is this the world you want?
You’re making it
Every day you’re alive

(Chorus 2)
You change the world
You change the world
You change the world
Every day you’re alive
You change the world
Honey, you change the world
You change my world

(Verse)
You start to look like what you believe
You float through time like a string
If the waters of time are made up by you and I
I change the world for you, you change it for me

(Bridge)
What you say is your religion
How you say it’s your religion
Who you love is your religion
How you love is your religion
All your science, your religion
All your hatred, your religion
All your wars are your religion
Every breath is your religion yea

(Chorus 1)
Is this the world you want?
Is this the world you want?
You’re making it
Every day you’re alive
Is this the world you want?
Is this the world you want?
You’re making it
Every day you’re alive

(Chorus 2)
You change the world
You change the world
You change my world
Every day you’re alive
You change my world
Honey, you change my world
You change my world

Confession is good for the soul.

I've heard it said that confession is good for the soul.  So, here it goes.

I am tired.  In my tired state, I am doing things I wouldn't normally do.

Like, clean part of the bathroom at a time.

Like, make dinner from boxes and mixes.

Like, this week:  I broke out some open toed shoes.  The last pedicure I had was May last year.  LAST YEAR.  I looked at my sorry feet and decided that something had to be done before I went to work.  So, I painted 4 out of 10 toes.  Just enough for the ones poking through would be pretty....the rest of them would just have to be jealous.  It took me 2 days to get the rest painted--it was quick and not very well done--but it was done.

The next confession is going to be funny if I get feed back.  May 1, 2012 I started chemo, it was also the last day I have worn deodorant or antiperspirant--really anything on my armpits.  I haven't been able to handle the (good) smell.  Today, I stood in the "smelly armpit product aisle" and smelled things for a good long time.

I chose one.

I took it home.

It's now in my cupboard staring at me...wanting to be used.  I am not sure if I can bring myself to do this: I will keep you posted.  It might not be until tomorrow morning that I bring myself to try this out.

Posting Road Signs

This week I wondered if I was going to make it through.

Life has such great moments in it and I am fighting not wallowing in the muck.

There is a bully at work, this week I actually phoned the "Employee Assistance Program" to talk to a counselor.  Yes, ME talk to a COUNSELOR.

It's been going on since I started.  She is angry, sweary, throwy and you never really know from day-to-day what you are going to get.  It could be that she is nice followed directly with slamming cupboard doors and throwing staplers. (My desk--named by my coworkers Delilah has a gash in her from one stapler throwing incident....It hit Delilah, missing me, caught my computer and hit the floor....)

When it comes to me, I just bear it up.  I have stood toe-to-toe with her and told her not to act like that in my office, but it doesn't seem to stick.

End of February, she did some paper work and I could see in the paper work she was starting to wind up again.

Sure enough, a couple weeks later--she had a moment in the office.  A break down of sorts.  She ended up calling a co-worker a vile couple names and then in the days that followed said some slanderous things.

I honestly thought I was maintaining life well, but I ended up dreaming that she hit me with a stapler and ripped my lip from my face.  This week, I just couldn't stop dreaming about her.  She would just pop into my dream and "be there".

On top of all that I have going on, Kent looking for work, being separated from Melissa and Jonathan, I hardly ever see Max.  The thought of "I have to find a second job to support the family" feelings and then all the work that is in the house, I'm the finance person, housework, laundry, cook.  Kent is helping with some of this, but I am watching the house get slowly into more disarray, the yard has grass we could hid Pippin in....I am slowly feeling more and more overwhelmed.

And Easter is coming.

People have asked to come for the weekend--and I just feel like I need a break.

This week, Wednesday, at 4 pm I was swamped with work that had to get done--when I heard the bully outside a co-workers office try to "go over my head" to get what she wanted.  I think I startled her with the fact that I was still in the office and told her No is No.  My coworker she was trying to manipulate said, a standard is a standard.

A standard is a standard and I love my boundaries.

I guess that is why I am feeling so overwhelmed, my ducks-in-a-row life is not that way right now and I am struggling with the free-wheeling, fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants life.

Never comfortable for a girl like me.

Thursday, I spent the night in prayer.  Direction, Peace, Comfort, Wisdom and Kindness--the list could go on and on.  One of my specific prayers was that Kent and I could still go see Jon and Melissa this summer (we've already purchased and paid for the tickets), and that we would be able to keep our benefits.  I use a lot of drug still.

So, I mark this down, posting a road sign of sorts, because I want to look back on this in a while and know that God was faithful, to see me through the situation at work, the fatigue of life, His faithfulness in keeping us afloat financially and keep our family strong.

I’m feeling terrible—I couldn’t feel worse!

    Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember?

When I told my story, you responded;

    train me well in your deep wisdom.

Help me understand these things inside and out

    so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.

My sad life’s dilapidated, a falling-down barn;

    build me up again by your Word.

Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;

    grace me with your clear revelation.

I choose the true road to Somewhere,

    I post your road signs at every curve and corner.

I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me;

    God, don’t let me down!

I’ll run the course you lay out for me

    if you’ll just show me how.

Psalm 119:25-32 The Message

2048

I will post the link to 2048 shortly, if I do it first and you follow the link, you will never be back.

I was cruising around FB the other night when I see that Johnny J has posted a link to 2048, the most amazingly addictive game.

Whatever, every one was all rilled up about flappy birds, I could NOT understand that.

2048--I can understand.  I showed it to Kent on Thursday night about 5.30, he didn't stop until almost 9.30.  And he doesn't play video games.  (Except Scrabble and that doesn't count)

So, here's the link.  Just so you remember:  Set your alarm, you need to shower and get up for work on Monday.

http://gabrielecirulli.github.io/2048/

To close the loop

When we were about to move to Victoria we decided that we would do our best to do the "tourist-y" things.  All the things that we didn't do in Kelowna.

Did you know we lived in Kelowna for 23 years and never did a single winery tour?  We never went to a museum or art gallery...together?  We never hiked to Paul's Tomb or hiked Knox Mountain?

Moving here it was a priority to spend time together and enjoy the Island and all it has to offer.  We have been busy.

This year we have done the "tourist in your own town".  We just last weekend biked around Swan Lake and then biked out the Galloping Goose to the Lochside Trail to Blenkinsop Lake. A 17.5 km round trip.

Before: 

After:

Today, we went to the Kinsol Trestle.  We went to see the spectacular sights, and then we ended up finding a trail.  It said it was a "technical trail 1000m"  We decided to take it and see where it would lead us.  Somehow in my head it had to be a loop trail.  We got to the end of it and it hooked up to a ATV trail, heading back toward the trestle.  We checked our map a couple times, realizing we were headed back the way we needed to go--and kept walking.  We joked a couple times that the trail had better not go left or we could end up in Duncan....we would come around a corner and then the trail would go left-- we were wanting to go right.

Eventually we wound our way around the ATV trail back to the trestle trail, across the trestle again and back to our car.

I kept telling Kent, when we were biking last weekend around Swan Lake, I needed to close the loop.  Today, the same thing, I needed to close the loop.  It just feels completed.

I told Kent today while we were walking that last weekend and this weekend while we were doing our "tourist-y" things that our time here feels as though it's coming to an end.  I don't feel sad about that thought the way I did when we were getting ready to leave Kelowna.

It feels good.  It feels "comfortable" of sorts.  It feels completed.  I am not sure what our future holds--God knows.

Kent has been continuing his look for work, we've seen some amazing jobs, Kent has applied for jobs from Victoria and Sidney all the way across Canada to St. John's Newfoundland...and everything (literally) in between--Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Mississauga, Kingston, Yellowknife, Whitehorse, the list goes on and on.  So far there is no sheep farming in Scotland on the horizon, but a girl can hope!

Kinsol Trestle:

Using my "Surrey Skills"

Smokin!

It's says KEEP OFF Kent....

Such a ham....

Love this--I love the colours of nature!

Hungry Kent?  Skunk Cabbage!

Kinsol Trestle

Pippin and Moss. 

I spat over the edge, Kent took a photo...

Something smells....

Wasn't having the greatest day.

I was seriously overtired.  My job doesn't give a lot of downtime during the day.  I have taken to being careful when I spend time in the staff room, go for walks whenever possible.

But, this day, I had maxed out.

I went and found a co-worker's office--and sat by myself and ate lunch, read a little Sarum.  It was good to be alone and quiet for a while.

I am finding more and more -- the older I get the more I am recharged and fed by quiet.

Then, in my fatigue, I realized part of my irritation:  I have smelly feet and hairy legs.

I went home and walked in the door, started dinner and started running a bath so I could rid myself of my stinky feet and hairy legs.

Not that I am complaining about leg hair....I love my hair, every last one of them.

I am always amazed at how long it takes me to understand myself.

I have just started to understand the concept of hangry.

And on that note: I'm going to find something to eat.