People thought that I was stone cold crazy for going to New York in March. I had committed to being the leader before we left Kelowna in August 2011. Cancer or no cancer, I was committed to going--as long as the Drs said it was ok and they did.
When Hurricane Sandy hit the East coast, I got an email from New York School of Urban Ministry asking for either donations or teams.
I knew that this would be out of the question....then again....
I got an email from Andy from Emmanuel, and the talks started.
I committed to going with the team that they were assembling in West Kelowna, as well as talking to Pastor Kevin at Colwood about putting together a team.
I knew that I could get the funds together if Kent was working, but with Kent not working it just seemed out of the question.
I told Andy and Ben that I was out. Finances were going to be a problem and I had no time to fund raise.
I went into the bathroom and wept. I talked to God about how much more was He going to allow for me to lose before this trial would be over. I was not reconciled with the idea of not going, in fact, I was sure I was supposed to go.
But how?
So, I prayed. I put a fleece out that if God was to have me go, the money would come in. Somehow, someway.
I posted a note on Facebook and 3.5 hours later, I had 2 responses. One will pay for my trip to New York, the other will pay for my trip from Victoria to Seattle and back.
Wham. There is the answer.
So, I went to Kent. He released me to go and I responded to the FB messages.
And I cried. I do that a lot. I couldn't believe it. In the midst of all that goes wrong it is as though He just dropped this into my life to say, I am still here. I am still listening.
Even as I write this, I am in awe of who He is and how He is speaking into my life--through the haze of self-doubt and anxiousness God is there. So, I am learning in a whole different way how to trust and have faith in a God who has so much faith in me.
I committed to going with the team that they were assembling in West Kelowna, as well as talking to Pastor Kevin at Colwood about putting together a team.
I knew that I could get the funds together if Kent was working, but with Kent not working it just seemed out of the question.
I told Andy and Ben that I was out. Finances were going to be a problem and I had no time to fund raise.
I went into the bathroom and wept. I talked to God about how much more was He going to allow for me to lose before this trial would be over. I was not reconciled with the idea of not going, in fact, I was sure I was supposed to go.
But how?
So, I prayed. I put a fleece out that if God was to have me go, the money would come in. Somehow, someway.
I posted a note on Facebook and 3.5 hours later, I had 2 responses. One will pay for my trip to New York, the other will pay for my trip from Victoria to Seattle and back.
Wham. There is the answer.
So, I went to Kent. He released me to go and I responded to the FB messages.
And I cried. I do that a lot. I couldn't believe it. In the midst of all that goes wrong it is as though He just dropped this into my life to say, I am still here. I am still listening.
Even as I write this, I am in awe of who He is and how He is speaking into my life--through the haze of self-doubt and anxiousness God is there. So, I am learning in a whole different way how to trust and have faith in a God who has so much faith in me.
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