There is a picture on Pinterest that states if you weren't there to share in my trials you can't share in my victory...or something like that. I don't agree with this at all. You can all share in my victory, this year has plenty of them.
January 2012
I was happily working as a Switchboard operator in January. Learning that the job is more extensive every day, but loving it. I work with some truly incredible people. In fact, my co-worker told me when I started she had been praying for more "light" in the office, I believe she prayed me into the office and that we have a great responsibility there as well as favor with our coworkers.
Kent and I were doing really well--we were enjoying this "new phase" of life--were we spending lots of time together, lots of dates, it was really, really fun.
I was gearing up for another trip to New York with the Emmanuel Church Next Gen Ministries, partnering again with the New York School of Urban Ministries.
We were also gearing up for a trip to Kelowna at the end of the month for JJ and Grace Starings wedding, January 29th. We were happy to know we were going "home" to see people we really loved.
Our clutch was seriously going on our car and we knew that with the expense of a trip and the clutch we wouldn't make our budget. The trip to Kelowna was cancelled and my heart literally broken. On Saturday, January 29th I cried off and on all day, looking constantly at Facebook for a wedding photo. I didn't realize until that moment how important this trip really was for me.
January 30th, we found the lump. It was providential to be at home, we were about to embark on a string of miracles, we just didn't know it at the time. The first miracle happened that night. At 11 pm, we arrived at the Emergency Department of Victoria General Hospital. Right at shift change. I couldn't believe how dumb a move this was. When we were admitted, I assumed the position of a long wait...when the nurse called me in. We were the only patients in the emergency room. Miracle #1.
January 31st, I was seen by a radiologist for an ultrasound with in 10 hours of my emergency visit. Miracle #2
February 2012
February brought a long month of waiting...and a lifetime of Doctors appointments, hospital visits, lab work biopsies and scans. Kent and I celebrated Valentine's Day, although I can tell you neither of us felt like rejoicing but we were overjoyed to still be together and very much in love.
At the end of February I stole my lab work on a late shift, and saw the results, large B-cell lymphoma, or Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
I sat at my desk--called Kent to join me for dinner and told my co-worker the news. She told me to take as much time as I needed.
Kent and I talked, no tears were shed, Kent simply stated we would walk through this together. And he meant every word of it. There was such peace that night. My co-worker called it denial, but I call it God. He was with us.
March 2012
March 9th I was gearing up to go to Kelowna and meet with the team for the trip to Seattle then onto New York, I received a phone call from Dr. Bieberdorf's office, confirming that there was Cancer, there would be surgery scheduled and at least chemotherapy.
I asked about New York, he said, go. He said, get lots of rest, take care of your immune system and avoid crowds. I asked him if he'd ever been to New York....he hadn't. There was no way, any of those 3 things would be attainable. I have never come home from a missions trip healthy. Ever.
We had an amazing trip to New York, making life long friends, seeing and doing the most amazing things. I came home completely content that I would probably never do ministry again in New York, or with Emmanuel Church and I would never do another missions trip without Kent unless God decided otherwise but I did tell God he would have to be vocal if I were to go without Kent....Very. Vocal.
I came home, with 2 all nighters pulled in 10 days, as fit as a fiddle--ready for the next stage which was surgery. I had to wait until the end of April for Chemotherapy to start.
April 2012
April 27th We picked up Melissa in Abbotsford from her year at school, we attended the Summit Pacific Grad for our "adopted" daughter Sarah Hogue (now Tilley) and headed home on the 28th. Melissa was sad at having to leave Jonathan behind, but little did she know he had already beaten us to our house...and was planning to ask her to marry him.
Monday, I started chemotherapy. I was scared, I am the first to admit, I am a terrible patient. I went in with an attitude of gratefulness, expectant of great things, and asking God to dump on me a level of patience and kindness that the nursing staff would see a difference in me.
They did.
My Medical Oncologist-extraordinaire was Dr. Fitzgerald. I. Love. Her. She said that the staff would tell her, "your little lady was in today." What a compliment.
May 2012
The hair fell out dang fast. In fact, in 2 weeks I was already feeling it go. At first it felt like I had had it professionally thinned, but that didn't last long. My love, my life, cut my hair all off--in one of the most loving acts I have ever witnessed. I am so proud of Kent. He was my greatest advocate, fan and support. I love him more than ever.
We also went to HistoryMaker in May. Yes, on the surface probably a dumb move, but again, knowing after the fact that I was completely meant to be there. One of the girls from our youth group was diagnosed with the same form of Cancer as me. The girls had a ton of questions....
June 2012
June brought around more chemo and Max's high school graduation. Melissa was working at Murchie's Team House, Jonathan was about to move in for the summer and work in Victoria, Kent was happily working at Vivitro Labs.
Max's high school does all the grad events in one day, I knew would be a colossal stretch for me, and it was every bit one of the toughest days of my treatment. I had to stay hydrated during treatment and that day I had let my schedule go, and by the time we go to the ceremony, my teeth were stuck to the inside of my mouth, I fell asleep during the ceremony (not for the important parts) and by the time we got home, I was so wound up--I had to take extra medication to sleep my little 2-4 hours that night.
Max. I am super proud of him. He had a tough year. He has had his moments of anger and frustration, but he is a softer and kinder person now. He is back to his happy self these days, and I am so thankful for him.
July 2012
Let's have your birthday party here! *facepalm* So we invited about 100,000,00 people and I catered it myself. OK, that's an exaggeration, we had about 30 people---looking back on it now, I wonder WHY did I do this? I am sure you are too--just that we longed for something NORMAL in our life. I wanted to celebrate Kent--and so we did!
I had a mini meltdown one day in July with regards to my appearance. I was bloated on medications and I had lost all but a couple eye lashes, those I was hanging onto. I called the BC Cancer Agency, knowing that they had a "beauty" class I could take.
Melissa and I went to the class and had. a. blast. It was so much fun. It was truly amazing how much it improved my out look on life. I highly recommend the class, having eyebrows makes a girl feel a little less like this:
and more like this:
Weren't expecting that were you....FIERCE!
August 2012
A wedding. We did it. I told Melissa that one day, we would look back at all this and say, "Remember that summer, you got married and I was going through chemotherapy?" We would look back on it with fondness and wonder how we pulled it all off.
She was beautiful, radiant. It went off without too many glitches, but nothing anyone could really see.
We were up really early that morning and as I was putting on my make up I lost the last 3 eyelashes I had. I had no eyebrows to speak of, no hair on my head--but with the beauty class I had taken in the weeks before the wedding, I was ready.
Chemotherapy had ended and in the days before the wedding I started Radiation therapy. A lonely time for me. Melissa and Jonathan were gone. Max and Kent were working tons and I was going daily for treatment alone.
I am not saying this for pity's sake, I am saying this because it was one of the tough times in my treatment but it was really, really good for me. I made some friends with the people in the treatment center I even brought them cupcakes one day. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing, Spice cake with rum icing and white cake with coconut icing. Baking is a huge distraction for me.
I went back to work on the 21st, did some retraining and then was back to my schedule the following week.
September 2012
I found out in a hurry that I had bitten off more than I could chew. I could work all day, (7.5 hours) sitting on my rump, but actually getting through the rest of my day was difficult. I had no energy and found that I was slowly becoming this tense little ball of person. I had a tough time moving and staying limber. The Oncology Doctors told me that I should expect to return to work and exercise in December.....they didn't tell me that until AFTER I had gone back to work.
In my eagerness to get back to normal life, I had pushed it too far, too soon.
For my birthday we had a birthday party at our house and we were amazed to see connections with friends we didn't know knew each other. Rekindling friendships with some "old" friends (Shannon Whissel) and some new friends we had made through Kent's job connection at work.
My hair sprouted. It was milky white with a little bit of latte colour, how appropriate for me!
October 2012
24 years off marriage and a skiff of hair. We postponed our anniversary celebrations for late in October again, it was a God-thing. We had a great little place at Point No Point, paid for by travel points!
Officially 1 month of hair growth....
Hurricane Sandy hit the Jersey Shore and New York and we were asked to come help, so along with a crew from Emmanuel, Kent and I had made plans to spend New Years Eve in New York.
November 2012
This month brought on the biggest heartache for me for the year. Melissa and Jonathan announced that they would be moving to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. We were on a Skype call when I got up and left the room. I have been excitedly watching my kids bloom and leave the nest, but I didn't expect that it would be such a great distance away.
Days later, Kent lost his job due to "company restructuring", it was found his job was "redundant". It was a painful time as we questioned why on earth we had made the move to Victoria in the first place and then resolved to whatever God wants, we are willing.
We had 2 car accidents with a brand-new-to-us car we had just purchased from Galaxy Motors. We would highly recommend Andrew and David. They were exceptional!
I had that week to say no to going to New York. I put out a fleece to God that if I were to go, He would provide. In 3.5 hours, the trip was completely paid for. Kent stated, if I get a job in 2 weeks, I will go too.
December 2012
Needless to say, God answers. Kent is now working with a company called Latitude Technologies. He was terribly upset about having to leave Vivitro, but happily working along side some really great people. He is going with me to New York and we are looking to wrap up this year in Times Square.
I can't say that this has been a horrible year, yes, looking at the "big picture" you might think so, but if you look closer you will see that there have been many, many bright spots along the way. I said to Kent just a few days ago, in all the grief and misery that this year has had, it is like God dropped little bits of light in it to remind us He is still here and He is still listening.
My mantra this year it would be this: "God is good."
As I write this I have this worship song running in my head. This is my anthem. I sang this song continually this year: Made Me Glad-Hillsong
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