I know I am dumb.

And this blog will prove it.

I had blogged a couple posts on my way home from our last trip to Kelowna...I was feeling all whirly inside, confused by some people's actions, sorry I didn't work with Andy and Ben anymore, missing the Lewke's, it was just a very, very confusing time.

Then, we pulled into a Shell station for gas.

I asked Kent if he wanted tea, because yes, we are that old.  He walked behind me into the gas station and I went to find tea.  He went to fill the car.  I took longer than him and he left.  Yes, he drove away without me.

He did it, because he thought that I had gone over to Tim Horton's.  I mean, why not, they have yummy steeped tea.

Meanwhile, back at the Shell station, I've walked out and he's gone.  Gone.

I looked here, I looked there.  I couldn't find him anywhere.

In a matter of minutes, this is what happened in my head, sorry if this is TMI--it's my blog and I always said I would be transparent....

He's gone.
I knew he'd leave sometime.
Eventually.
I wonder what I did that was the breaking point for him?
Tears.
Heart palpitations.
Check purse, I think I have enough in here for a bus ticket to the ferry.
I knew I'd eventually irritate him until he'd had enough.

Then, Kent arrives.  I get in the car, wiping my tears and my poor husband is beside himself and I was angry.

Why, is my go-to-emotion anger?  I am not sure.  When I married Kent I had 2 emotions.  Happy and Angry.  I have learned (thankful to a very patient Kent) that I have other emotions like frustration, irritation, joy, peace....

He asked me straight out why is it that -- that's where your head goes first?

And my answer is simple.  I am broken.  I am in need of a Saviour who has given me the best gift ever in Kent.  His patience is amazing.  My relationship with God teaches me that I am worth the hassle and Kent reinforces it to me everyday that he loves me.  He really loves me.

I had that weekend lots of Kent time, just not enough Jesus time.  I made good use of the rest of the trip, to fill myself with God stuffs, a good word, some good music...I felt better so fast.

And yes, I know I am dumb.