Sweet Sixteen

Yesterday, my little Jack would've looked more like a man.  This would have been his 16th birthday. 

Without a lot of fan-fare, without a lot of markers along the way, I have honoured his little life in my own way.

This year, we headed out to French Beach with our new students. We packed up a weenie roast, a volleyball, soccer ball and frisbee. We packed up swimming suits and towels.  When I say we, I mean, I didn't even look for my bathing suit.

At times during the day, Pippin and I would leave the boys and Kent playing and walk along the beach.  I'd gather firewood, talk to Pippin and talk to God.

I have to say, this year feels like a turning point.  This year would've been a great year of milestones; a drivers license, a girlfriend, high school.  This year, and every year up to this one, my heart is more and more at peace.  

You see, I have come to realize that God gives and he takes away. My desire for one more child was not God's plan....and as I was thanking God for this -- Rodrigo came over and asked for me to come play.  I am not the Mom of 3 (now 5) amazing kids, Melissa (and Jonathan), Max (and Bri) and Jack.  I am the Mom of 100s.

What seemed like an insurmountable moment in my life, leaving the hospital without Jack -- has turned into some of life's greatest joys. Graduations by the dozens, Missions trips with some precious teens, weddings, birth of babies.

Today, I understand how completely blessed I am.  Sunday's sermon take away for me was:  "I am thankful for my wife Rebecca, BUT I am thankful to God for Rebecca."  

So I can sit here typing away that I am confident of this:  I am thankful for my family (the near and far...the biological kids I have and the adopted ones....) and I am thankful TO GOD for my family.  He truly is the giver of perfect gifts.

He didn't give me the desire of my heart at the time, He gave me so much more than I could have ever hoped and dreamed.

Take delight in the Lord,     and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:4-6

 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. James 1:16-18