"Cancer is hard.
Being diagnosed with Cancer is hard.
Feeling alone with Cancer is hard.
Wondering if you've made it through Cancer treatment and are actually Cancer free is hard.
Cancer is just so hard."
T. Melia
So, supposedly, my biological mother had breast cancer. Supposedly, my biological (full-blooded) sister had breast cancer. I was told that my sister was diagnosed at 26. Now, I would love to drop the "supposedly" but there is really nothing that can be believed that comes from the two of them. At that time, I went to my Doctor and told him the update. He was brilliant and started me on yearly (screening) mammograms when I was just 32. Completely out of the guidelines for screening mammograms. I have continued that schedule to this day.
Last year in 2015, as I was leaving I was told to "skip" next year because the science just didn't support having (screening) mammograms in your 20s-40s. Well, science, schmience.
I delayed getting my mammo this year because Kent and I had planned to go to the UK and France for our anniversary. (I will update this blog eventually!)
When I got back, I booked my appointment for October 24th. (I normally book my physical/mammo to coincide with my birthday--can't forget it then!) It was short, sweet and nearly uncomfortable-free. (It's never really painful....) That was Friday.
On Monday, October 27th, I had just dropped Kent off for work (he was due to be out of town all week), I headed to the gym. Minutes later, my phone rings, and I need a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. They booked me in for the first available appointment for Wednesday. I had a little freak out, but then googled some statistics. 20% of all screening mammograms are called back of those only 8-10% are found to have breast cancer.
Wednesday morning, I got in the car and went to Victoria General Hospital for my appointment. I was cheery and really not very worried that they would find anything.
I asked if I could see 2015s and 2016s views side by side. I have to say, I was a little stunned. There it was, a new, little unwanted formation in my breast. We did the diagnostic mammo and she enlarged it so we could see it more clearly, and low and behold it looked like it had veins, even an artery! I thought very evil thoughts about the unnamed intruder.
I had the ultrasound and was laughing and goofing off -- then the tech said, we'll have to do a biopsy, can you stay? I said of course. When the physician came in to do the biopsy we laughed and talked then he said, ok let me see the screen and when he saw it -- his demeanor completed changed. I outright told him and his team that they need to work on their "poker face". He laughed, a forced low laugh....and I said, ya, like that...
I watched the biopsy on the screen, 3 little bits wound up in a solution and off to the lab it went. I was told the results would be back in 4-5 business days and make an appointment to see my GP.
I got dressed, left the hospital and made it to my car when I came completely unglued. I was crying so hard I couldn't see my car.
You see, cancer is hard. And I knew I was looking at breast cancer. I got myself into the car and cried and cussed for a full 20 minutes on my way back to my office.
I just got back to my office and I'm stunned. Even though for 16 years of mammos, this just didn't seem to be a reality.
My appointment is now booked with my GP for Friday, November 4th. And now we wait.
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