Today's thoughts have been completely orchestrated by my work from home schedule. I love my job, I absolutely ADORE being able to work from home. I get so much more done at home than at the office. The interruptions are limited to what I let in via email and my phone ringing.
Today, I started listening to Google Music, Lifehouse Channel. Excellent mix of music from of course, Lifehouse, Goo Goo Dolls, Rob Thomas, The Fray, Switchfoot and Matt Kearney.
Matt Kearney.
You know how music can bring you back to a moment and when you hear the song, it brings you back through the years to an exacting moment.
I bring you to Matt Kearney - Nothing Left To Lose
When Melissa turned 15 I took her on a week away. I told her I'd take her anywhere, she chose Victoria. There was a Titanic Exhibit at the Royal BC Museum. I knew that our week would be full of beach combing, art exhibits and museums, tea and talks.
I think I was looking forward to it as much as she was. I have so many great memories from this trip. It was really meant to be a "right of passage". I know now it's fashionable to do this, but at the time, I only knew of a documentary that showcased ethnic groups that made their children suffer some hardship (standing on a pole over night then having to go on a solo hunting trip) to signify the change between childhood and adulthood. I couldn't send Melissa on a solo hunting trip......
I remember watching that documentary and thinking....she'll get a Driver's License and a Dogwood Diploma and we'll say ... There. She's an Adult!
I wanted more for my kids. So, the Rite-of-Passage was birthed to all 15 year old Horie's.
The day that I remember hearing that song by Matt Kearney, we had gone up Island to hike Little Qualicum Falls, we stopped at Goats on the Roof, we were headed home. The sun was setting, Melissa and I were having a quiet moment in the car.
I can close my eyes and see her to my right, thoughtful in expression, the sun setting out her car window....and I felt so much love. Love--indescribable love.
I don't hear that song often, but when I do I am rushed back to that moment. In the times that I think I have insanely failed as a Mom, wife, I remember that moment, where everything in my world was so great. Stinkingly stupendous.
That was 10 years ago. She now lives so far away. She outsmarted me years ago. She is a fabulous wife, a determined Scientist. A beautiful old soul who loves music, baking bread and drinking tea. She is so loved. Everyone who meets her, loves her. She has solid friendships, she is loving and kind.
And she's mine. I know that God loves me because she is an answer to prayer. Thank you God for my Beth.
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