Another hair bites the dust.

And another ones gone,
and another ones gone,
Another one bites the dust!

I met a beautiful friend yesterday for coffee.  I am so thankful for the connection of friendship. I didn't really know Denise when I lived in Victoria, but sitting with her yesterday we have so many things in common, so many common interests an giftings it feels like we have been friends forever.

Denise had sent me a devotional one night, when I got up in the morning I got it--it was the first thing I happened to read.

I have felt that my trial with this cancer was all part of a big plan, that I was "trained" for this moment in my relationship with God.  Based on the fact that I spent almost 15 years teaching and training up teens at Emmanuel.

I know my stuff.

Denise's devo that she sent to me was about training to trust in the Lord.  That Joseph's divine reversal in his life, what his brothers meant for evil, God made good.

That my attitude is everything -- like Joseph.  That my attitude is what evil or good is going to use to their own benefit.

If I crawl out of bed and snap the heads of my family (verbally) and slump around in pajamas, I will have that kind of day.

Today and each day, I put a conscious effort into, getting up, being quiet before my Lord and my family, assess where I am at-how I am feeling not reacting to it immediately.  Getting dressed, not in pajama pants, but a skirt, dress pants, do my hair, little make up...it sometimes takes until 3 pm, but I do get it done!

If I am feeling good about me, it's going to reflect on my whole life.

I spend time in my backyard, I have never been one who feels comfortable in quiet, nature-like surroundings, but I am finding great comfort watching a little hummingbird flit about my back yard, watch my faithful dog Pippin lay in the sun, watch Blackberry chase imaginary bugs in the yard.  All while sitting enjoying the warm sun on my face.

I was reminded this morning of Job, how his wife said, curse God and die.  He replied with shall we not accept good from God and not trouble?

*facepalm*

Of course, God allowed all this and I have to say for my benefit.  For the benefit of my family.  And for the benefit of the church.

On the cancer front, I am in pain every day.  I have chest and back pain, numbness in my hands, tongue, nose, lips.  Headaches every day.  The list goes on and on, but in all honesty, I am feeling far better than I thought I would by now.

God is good, he is faithful--I love him more today--even through this--than ever before!