Stupid Chemo Fog.

For months, I have been salivating over this recipe, I love recipes.  It's a Kale, Wheat germ berry and Cranberry Salad.  Finally this week, I decided to go for it.

Now, most food tastes like metal, nothing really has flavour, so anticipating food is odd right now.

So, I go to the Lifestyle Market and I find the Wheat germ berries which is not easy then I decide to find the Kale, which proved easier.

I make the salad today, literally it has taken me all day, embarassing, but true.

When I start chopping the "Kale" it smells quite specifically like "Cilantro".

Grrr.

Not. Impressed.

I had a bite, spit it out.  Ate a tiny bit of lasagna, but not enough for a person to live off off.  I decided, I would eat a bit of orange but metallic orange, not so much fun, so over dinner, I kept passing my food to Kent.

Grrrr.

Not. Impressed.

I will be hungry before bed, which isn't a fun state.  Right now, I can't input enough fluid, I am super tired, I am in quite a state.

In a moment of weakness today, I texted my Sister Lanette, I was feeling really low.  I had lunch with Melissa on a little bit of whim, which turned out to be really lovely and super well worth the effort.  I also went by Kent's office--he encouraged me, prayed for me and let me go.

As I was driving home, I was encouraged by the words of Leeland:

At the stars in the night, I wonder

At Your lightning in the sky, I shudder

Your glory is a blanket that covers

Every living thing

I’m in awe at the majesty of who You are

Your love is a seal burnt inside my heart

All of the day I want to be where You are

Holy Father

And it feels like there’s not enough praise inside of me

With all these words, all my heart can sing is holy

You are holy

Jesus Christ

You bled Your love, laid down Yourself

And gave me life

In naked shame You hung and You were lifted high

Here I lay in awe and wonder

I am afraid

For no one’s ever sacrificed and loved me this way

So on my face I fall under Your heavy grace

Here I lay in awe and wonder

And I wonder

I’m in awe at the majesty of who You are

Your love is a seal burnt inside my heart

All of the day I want to be where You are

Holy Father

And it feels like there’s not enough praise inside of me

With all these words, all my heart can sing is holy

You are holy

I am learning so much in this process, I went home had a nap.  It's so hard to go from boundless energy to absolutely none.