BC Cancer Agency Appointment Date

"You are cancer free." Said no Radiation Oncologist ever.  I could make a pinterest pin for that....

She danced around the point, she would not commit to giving me a free and clear diagnosis.  She was really funny today too.

I don't need her to give me the words, she said that I was given great treatment, that there are no real symptoms of cancer left, then she did a physical examination and she was really happy with the progress, she said I looked healthy and said that she wouldn't need to see me -- but that I would be followed by the Medical Oncologist.

She told me that she would recommend me to be off work for 3 months from my last treatment...oops.  I actually went back to work August 21st, my last treatment was August 29th.  I told her I am trying to take it easy, but I just couldn't handle anymore couch time.  She told me it could take 6 months to a year to feel like I have gotten my strength back.

That's a little bit of a relief.  I was beating myself up for not being able to do more in a day.  I work, make dinner and I am done.  I am not able to sleep through the night--I am not sure if it's just that I have gotten into that routine or if it's cancer related.  I am enjoying the daily chemotherapy inspired hot flashes during the day, not so much at night.  They come about every hour in the night, some nights I can wake enough to uncover to cool off, other nights I am fully awake by the time I realize the hot flash is coming.

I have had time to process running into my old boyfriend, although his words were hurtful, I was sure that I let it slide, but then I would find myself covering up my hair, putting make up on every morning...doing things that I thought would improve my look.

I decided to go to church last Sunday without a head scarf or wig, just to let it all hang out.  (haha) I was surprised to find that people were really excited to see my hair and were really encouraging.  So, slowly, I am beginning to embrace this new hair.  I look like this:



Ok, maybe not.  It's not this long or as white, but when I was out with friends this week from Kelowna I realized, hey, my hair looks a little like Dame Judi Dench!  What girl wouldn't want to be M?  (007 Reference.....)

So, today, without a hat in my bag, I went to my appointment, went to get groceries, and other than times when I need the heat--I am embracing this new hair thing....and to my old boyfriend, you are a former for a reason, thanks for reminding me why.