My Grandma called me this week to let me know that my Aunt had passed. I don't have a lot of memories from my Aunt, except that I envied the relationship she had with my cousin Sheila. She was kind, generous, fun.
A number of months ago, back in September Aunt Marj found me on FB. We entered a very lovely conversation...both with the worry that we would be judged by each other based on what one family member has told us about each other.
That couldn't be farther from the truth. Of course, see the family member in question couldn't tell the truth if it were the only thing that could save her. My coworker says, she can't say sh*t for the sh*t she has in her mouth. That statement couldn't be truer....
Once we we got past that, we realized what we have missed out on--living in the fear that we were who we were told each other is. We were becoming friends.
I have some fond memories of my Aunt. I remember a time when I was inseparable from her daughter, my cousin Sheila. I love Sheila...and today, my heart is broken for her and for her loss.
So, now, I have Sheila's phone number and that same fear of..what if she judges me based on what *** has said about me?
Even though I know I'd call -- we'd have a great conversation -- the fear of rejection reigns.
So for now, I pray for peace and for comfort...and I stare at this paper with my cousin's phone number on it.
Do I phone, or do I not.
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