Worry vs Faith

A number of days ago, a friend asked me how I was doing.  I responded, with the truth.....I'm good!

I was good!  I was at work and out of the house, which I LOVED.  I enjoy my co-workers, I love what I do, it was a really good day.  I was good!

She responded with, you need to stop being fake and tell us the truth.

What?  I am not being fake.  Uh, the title of the blog is my life.  I really want to be authentic!

I came home, little perplexed.  Then, I found I was dreaming about it...and knew I had to process this all out. Then, while pinning things to my pinterest boards for breast cancer, found the picture above.  The reality hit me.

When all this started I had 2 friends say that they were praying for healing for me and both of them felt that God was saying pray for peace first.  (Both ladies don't know each other, and don't live in the same city.)

So, they were obedient and prayed for peace.  I have felt like I have been experiencing, truthfully, the peace that passes understanding.  (Phil 4:7)

After some time, one of the ladies called me and said, this week, when I was praying for you, God released me to pray for healing. As if, you were prepared in peace and ready for the healing to begin.

Then, on Sunday that week, my friend came and found me after church and said, God told me to come pray with you.  And she reiterated what I had heard previously from my friend in the States.

Bathed in peace, being laid before the throne of God--prepared for healing. Such comfort in those words and such faithful prayer partners!

I will be honest in the moment, if I'm ok, I will let you know.  If I'm not, I will let you know.  I am striving to be authentic and faithful.

Philippians 4:6-8  New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy

—think about such things.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and bench pressing Buicks

It's shocking that one of the stressors of this experience with cancer is also the place that where I will find health.

I have lost track of how many oncologists (medical oncologists) I have had in the past 4 years.  Today, I finally got through to the BC Cancer Agency. I've left voicemails, I was going to email today if I didn't get through to anyone.

I had an appointment on November 30th (for a lymphoma follow up) that was canceled and I was told I would be called the beginning of December to reschedule. That didn't happen.

I had 2 appointments booked today -- two consultations one with (another) new medical oncologist and with a new radiation oncologist.  Here's the kicker....I have to have a separate appointment with another NEW medical oncologist for my lymphoma diagnosis.

What??  How is this helpful and not stressful.

Oh and the appointments are for January 3, 24 and 25.  Each is 90 minutes each.

How is this not stressful?

So, 4.5 hours of appointments.  No treatment, just talking to oncologists.

I really would love to see a study done on the stress of a patient when every other time they go to the Agency, they get a new oncologist.  I mean, don't get me wrong, they are nice people but how do you have any sort of rapport with people when it's a new oncologist, new admin, new clinic -- this is nuts.  I'd run this so differently if I had some say in this.

So, I tried to negotiate having only 1 new medical oncologist, dropping 1 appointment, that didn't work very well.

I have 3 appointments. 3 new physicians.  No answers for treatment until after January 3rd at least.

Oh, and the other part, I am talking to the admin and she asks if I have any questions.  I did, having a new Medical Oncologist (for the breast cancer), does this mean I have to have chemo?  The admin couldn't answer.  I am so hoping that I don't have to do chemo.

I can go to the BCCA for meetings or for lunch, but when I go there as a patient, I get incredibly nauseated.  Got that just from the phone call.

The very best of an ugly situation...

If you have known me for any length of time....let's say, if you've known me since 1997-2000, you'd know I have a healthy (clean) crush on Martin Smith (Delirious? Front Man)  Today started with a little Martin Smith, Kim and Jesus dance party....Fire Never Sleeps

When the surgeon's office calls and says, hey come in on Monday instead of Wednesday--the alarms go off.  I just can't help it.  Being asked to come in sooner than later doesn't always mean good news.

In fact, in this last couple of weeks, it's been just plain bad news.

What it meant this time was -- she needed Wednesday to do surgeries.  So, it had no bearing on my pathology report.  We've been all waiting on the pathology report.

Today, I went in with Kent to have my post surgical follow-up.  The steri-strips were taken off, the wound was assessed, it's all doing very well.  I talked about the migraines, to which the surgeon stated, "it could've been just bad luck." I agree. It could've been nothing but dumb luck.

The pathology report had arrived and we went over it.  It is the very best of a very ugly situation.  There was no cancer found in the lymph nodes or in the lymph channels. Praise God!! There was a .5mm mass left in my body that will have to be dealt with, but that is coming.

I am looking at a call and appointments with the BCCA (BC Cancer Agency) for treatment.  I am looking at potentially taking Tamoxifen (as the mass was ER+), radiation and even chemotherapy.  My surgeon told me she wouldn't speak about treatment--she'd leave that to the oncologist. 

I came home and called BCCA for an appointment.  They had cancelled my November 30th appointment and promised that they would call in the beginning of December to reschedule.  They haven't called.

Let me be perfectly clear.  I still have a process to walk through.  Potentially, treatment with BCCA and then surgery and reconstruction.  We discussed this today with the surgeon.  I asked for a timeline, she stated because of that .5mm mass, that means that I am on a priority list for the next surgery.

Am I looking forward to this, no, not at all.  Have a I learned in my lifetime that life isn't easy for me?  Yes.  But I also know that God is good and he has walked through this already.  If He's gone ahead of me, what do I have to fear?  Nothing.

He's got this.  Queue another dance party.

Fire Never Sleeps

2 Samuel 6:14-15
Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

Sometimes we do more by doing less.

It's 1:22 am.  I keep thinking it should be 4:12 am, I hear Switchfoot lyrics going off in my head.  "Been having trouble staying asleep, You've been waking up at 4:12....."

I'm sitting in my living room with an ice pack in my armpit, in the early morning hours staring out the window at this amazing sight.

There is a gorgeous silver-lined cloud floating outside my window with a gnarly leafless tree that is silhouetted in the frame of the window, it's really beautiful. It's breathtaking.  I know that a picture just wouldn't be able to do it justice.

And here I sit and think about my day.

Today was my first day of freedom.  My first day of feeling half decent in a week, so I took advantage of it.

I took Kent to work.

I filled the car up with gas.  I also found that Shell has a promotion right now, 50 air miles if you buy a coffee.  So I stood by the machine and made and paid for 4 people coffees.  200+ air miles later....

I went to the bank

I got a real coffee. (Thank you Starbucks)

I went home for a quick rest

I picked up Jonathan's Christmas present.

I went to the new Lowe's in my neighbourhood,  it was underwhelming.

I went to Home Outfitters and talked to a chatty supervisor about her inability to find good holiday relief workers.

I went to Canadian Tire and watched families walking out with toboggans and sleds, about to enjoy Victoria's first snow day in years.

I met Kent and a his co-worker for lunch....That's when Kent asked me about my morning.

(insert the sound of a needle being dragged across a vinyl record .... HERE)

Kim coyly looked at him and smiled.....

He got that look on his face....you know the one, happy-to-see-me-but-sure-I've-done-too-much-and-will-regret-it-later-face...He then instructed me to go home and rest--and I did for about an hour or so, then I started decorating a little in the house, not a ton, but a little.  I pulled out some garland and put in on the mantle, arranged some candles, got out some baubles and then went to get Kent from work.

I'm now paying the price for too much movement and not enough rest.  I'm not in pain, but I am very definitely uncomfortable.  I can't find a good position to sleep in.  So I sit here and watch my silver-lined cloud.

And promise myself that tomorrow...I will do less.

"Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength... It is wisdom to take occasional furlough. In the long run, we shall do more by sometimes doing less."  - Charles Spurgeon

Snow Day 2016

So, technically it's the 2nd snow day of 2016, but who is really counting, it was today that people lost their marbles over.

We all react to snow in different ways, Kent for example loves real seasons and longs for the days when in Kelowna, we had 4 actual seasons.  Me?  If a snow man could be made of sand and I could live in flip flops year round, I'd be happy.

Pippin, thinks that all snow is to be barked at, each individual flake, like each one is a tiny, nasty invader to his little private sanctuary.  It was cute at first....

Blackberry and Socks decided to stay out all night last night.  So, when I opened the door this morning, Blackberry shot into the house, like the snow was lava and aghhh!!!

Socks got out from under a chair on the porch, stretched, then realized what he was standing in.  He decided that he would ONLY use Blackberry's footprints in which to walk.  I hated to tell him that he really only got the one paw into an actual footprint of Blackberry's.  The rest of the time, he managed to make his own tracks.  Then, he'd find another footprint and stretch as far as he could make it to make the next step.

I closed the door while he made is way about 6' to the door.

I did reopen the door and let him in.  Then, I heard from the cats for at least 20 minutes about the hardship of being outside all night long!  I did remind them, they didn't come back in last night....

At least it's pretty to look at.

Seriously, what day is it today?

What day is it today?  I have no idea.  Literally none.

I had to check my phone to find out what day it was, but by the time I got to it--I forgot I was looking for the DATE and looked at the time.

It is now, Thursday, December 8.  I have lost 6 days of my life.  I have very vague memories, very little to go on.

Saturday I was dismissed from VGH for home.  I got a full blown migraine. Sunday, I had a couple migraines.  Monday, I had more migraines.  At the time, I couldn't bear it up a moment longer and I asked Kent to take me to the VGH Emergency Room. 

I couldn't stop the pain, the vomiting, or hydrate myself.  After a 6 hour visit, it passed and I was hydrated and sent home. with a 20-30% bounce back rate.

And oh, did it bounce back.

I'm now sitting about 10 migraines in since Saturday.  I feel like I have a concussion.  I'm wobbly and tender.  I'm doing everything NOT to make another migraine.  This recovery thing is far harder than I ever dreamed it would be.

Thankfully, I have a little friend to keep me company.

Friday, December 2

It is Friday, December 2.  Earl's gonna die today.  Good riddance you life sucking cancerous irritant....and thanks for all the laughs.


Ok, as I edit this post, I have no idea what day it is.  I know it's noon.  I know I have missed most of Victoria's winter.  ;)

Friday, I entered Victoria General Hospital at 7:30 and was greeted and admitted by the cutest little thing.  She was adorable.  She offered me a private or semi-private room.  Yes.  I'll take it if it's available.

Kent and I went over to the Breast Health Clinic and got set up for the wire insertion, radioactive dye and then another mammogram.

I had the best and brightest in the department, I'm not kidding.  I'm also not kidding when I tell you that it didn't hurt. 

Here's the too much information on the procedures: the local anesthetic was inserted under ultrasound guidance.  The wire was then inserted directly into the middle of Earl.  When the wire sheath was retracted the wire had a little spring at the end that unfurled to hold itself in place.

The radiologist then prepped the needle for the radioactive dye.  He said, this will definitely hurt, I have to put this needle in your nipple.  My NiPpLe?? He said, well in the areola....I said get your anatomy right!!  I heaved a great sigh of relief....and broke out into a sweat....

That needle didn't hurt either, the mammogram that followed, it didn't hurt.

Then, there was the wait.  Up to 3 hours of waiting while the dye worked its way up the channels of the lymph and into the lymph nodes in my armpit.

Before I knew it, it was time to go in.  I was prepped by the nicest nurse.  We teased her that I was drinking Kent's coffee....

My arm was wrapped in a warm cloth in prep of the IV

I went upstairs and got into the surgical holding pattern.  I talked to the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon, Dr. Alison Ross.

They wheeled me in the room and Alison asked me what I'd like for music, so I asked for Christian, she didn't have any.  So we settled on U2 - Joshua Tree -- Kent and I dated to that album....it's special. 

Next thing I knew, I was waking in the recovery room. A nurse said, what's your pain?  And I didn't even think about it before I answered 8!  5 times we went through this, I remember 5 injections....

I was taken to my room upstairs on 7AS and dopily wait for Kent.  I was uncomfortable, but not in pain. 

Now the recovery.

I.Am.The.Storm.

We all knew that this day would come.  Yesterday I go the call.  Earl's gonna die.


I will be heading to Victoria General Hospital on Friday, December 2 for the lumpectomy of Earl and then a sentinel node biopsy.


No problem right?


For the first time it really hit me that this is really, real.  I lost it, for about a minute.  I was driving--so I pulled myself together -- and gave myself a talking to.  You've got this Kim, God has walked this out ahead of you.  You have nothing to fear.


Two things came immediately to mind:

So, I started laughing in the car....on my way to Fairway...hopefully there's more clothing on Friday than strength and dignity....I probably looked a little like I needed access to mental health....


The second thing I thought of was:

I am the storm.  I am Earl's worst nightmare.  He didn't know what a fight he was picking when he picked on me.  He probably should've talked to Fred (2012s lump)


And of course that lead to more laughing.


Last night, we were invited into a prayer gathering that happens on Mondays at CPC, I'm not sure if you have to be invited, but it might be a good idea to make a reservation....you never know!


Kent and I spent almost 2 hours with the prayin' ladies and they covered us with prayer, encouragement, scriptures, reminders of God's faith.  I'm not going to lie, there are times in life when it just seems we get a good footing and something else hits us, we were weary entering the room.


We left feeling like a burden had been lifted.  I felt the wind back in my storm and this warrior is ready to fight.

'I want to inspire people. 

I want someone to look at me and say,

 "because of you, I didn't give up."'

-Unknown



Today, I can't even.

I literally can't even.

Yesterday I got a call from a person who has been through breast cancer treatment and was really trying to be supportive, but then told me about a family member who is now dying of cancer.

Did I mention I can't even?

I have been really positive through this, I've let things roll off my back, but today, I've reached a breaking point.

In my conversation with my friend we talked about post-treatment life.  It's not easy every time you feel something your thoughts go straight to ... it must be cancer.

Now, I'm not paranoid, but this is exactly like how we think--those of us who are post treatment.

Today, while at work, I started feeling off.  Not terrible, but just off.  And then it hits me,

I have a swollen lymph node in my neck.  In. My. Fricken. Neck.

It's on the left side where breast cancer was found.  It's on the left side where the lymph nodes have been painful in my armpit--and the whirling begins.

Ugh!  This treatment can't start soon enough.  Today, I'm stressed beyond my limit.  Yesterday, I was nearly in tears at work (during a meeting--excellently done, very professional....)

Tonight as I write this I can feel it, but I can't palpate it.

Is it in my head?  Absolutely.  Is it really a swollen lymph due to breast cancer?  Doubtful.  But that's exactly where my head goes.

This is going to be hard, but I have to get my mind back on track, take and Advil and go to bed early.  It's probably nothing more than a cold.

“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.”

– Emory Austin

I have won the lottery! OK, not really.

When my GP told me that she would like to send me to the surgeons office - I asked for Alison Ross.  Alison was the surgeon who did my surgery on Fred, so the unnamed, unwanted mass, I have not so affectionately called Earl, will die by the same hands.

And yes, Earl has to die.

I had a great appointment with Alison and got an amazing amount of information.  Alison is like talking to a great long time friend.  She's simply amazing.  So the plan we came up with looks like this:

1. I have booked a pre-op appointment with my GP.

2. Alison is going to send a referral to BCCA to do the gene testing for breast cancer. (I didn't do this years ago because it would mean contacting my biological mother/sister).

3. Alison is going to send a referral to a plastic surgeon to start the process of the bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction.

4. We will do a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy as soon as possible—probably in the next 2-3 weeks. Just to get rid of the cancer. I will need to be off work for 7-10 days to recuperate. The biopsies will go to the BC Cancer Agency and a plan will be drawn up for treatment

5. I will then start treatment at BCCA whatever that looks like, it could be as little as radiation treatment, it could include chemotherapy. That has yet to be determined.

6. I should have the gene testing back by then. (it takes 4 months) If I have the gene for breast cancer, we will absolutely proceed with the mastectomies and reconstruction. If I don’t have the gene, we’ve discussed going ahead with the mastectomies as she stated I statistically have an 8-40% chance of getting the breast cancer back. This gives me time to consider if I want to do something so radical or not.

If I had a 8-40% chance of winning the lottery, I'd buy a ticket every single day.  Since initially writing this, I have decided to go ahead with the mastectomies and reconstruction regardless of the gene testing.

I have done my preoperative appointment, I have an appointment next week to meet with Dr. Jennifer Robinson to discuss the mastectomies and reconstructions.  I have a potential surgical date for December 2nd.  If there is a bumping I'll be bumped to December 6th, but I won't be bumped off that list.

I have to get Christmas ready this weekend and finish painting our bedroom.  I think I may be doing my Christmas shopping online....and I'll be queuing up Netflix.  I think I am going to enjoy recuperating.

Here we go again.

Last year, I worked for a full week while Kent was away working on my Halloween costume:

It started like this--I asked on FB, what do you think I'm going as for Halloween? No one got it until the 3rd picture was posted.

I went as a jellyfish!

This year I updated the jellyfish a little and went to work. 

Last year at around Halloween, my coworker and I joined Information Management and Information Technology Department's social committee.  This year, we went to their Halloween party.  I entered the costume contest and won!  First place!!

It was a great distraction to the pending news.

I had realized that I had booked my appointment with my GP when we were throwing a surprise birthday party for my boss.  I called to move my appointment to Friday morning when I was told to come in the following morning.

The GPs office moved my appointment up by 4 days!  I knew in the pit of my belly, this wasn't good news.

November 1, Kent and I went our GP to find out that nope, it's not good news.  Not at all. 

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma - oh, good.

Invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC), sometimes called infiltrating ductal carcinoma, is the most common type of breast cancer. About 80% of all breast cancers are invasive ductal carcinomas.

Invasive means that the cancer has “invaded” or spread to the surrounding breast tissues. Ductal means that the cancer began in the milk ducts, which are the “pipes” that carry milk from the milk-producing lobules to the nipple. Carcinoma refers to any cancer that begins in the skin or other tissues that cover internal organs — such as breast tissue. All together, “invasive ductal carcinoma” refers to cancer that has broken through the wall of the milk duct and begun to invade the tissues of the breast. Over time, invasive ductal carcinoma can spread to the lymph nodes and possibly to other areas of the body.

Breast Cancer Information

Here we go again.  My GP is sending a referral to a surgeon and this will begin a cascade of appointments.  If you're looking for an update, I'll post it here.

Cancer is hard

Life is not simple.  I know I'm preaching to the choir.  My friend's recent post hits the nail on the head:

"Cancer is hard.

Being diagnosed with Cancer is hard.

Feeling alone with Cancer is hard.

Wondering if you've made it through Cancer treatment and are actually Cancer free is hard. 

Cancer is just so hard."

T. Melia

So, supposedly,  my biological mother had breast cancer.  Supposedly, my biological (full-blooded) sister had breast cancer.  I was told that my sister was diagnosed at 26.  Now, I would love to drop the "supposedly" but there is really nothing that can be believed that comes from the two of them.  At that time, I went to my Doctor and told him the update.  He was brilliant and started me on yearly (screening) mammograms when I was just 32.  Completely out of the guidelines for screening mammograms. I have continued that schedule to this day. 

Last year in 2015, as I was leaving I was told to "skip" next year because the science just didn't support having (screening) mammograms in your 20s-40s.  Well, science, schmience.

I delayed getting my mammo this year because Kent and I had planned to go to the UK and France for our anniversary. (I will update this blog eventually!)

When I got back, I booked my appointment for October 24th.  (I normally book my physical/mammo to coincide with my birthday--can't forget it then!) It was short, sweet and nearly uncomfortable-free.  (It's never really painful....)  That was Friday.

On Monday, October 27th, I had just dropped Kent off for work (he was due to be out of town all week), I headed to the gym.  Minutes later, my phone rings, and I need a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. They booked me in for the first available appointment for Wednesday.  I had a little freak out, but then googled some statistics.  20% of all screening mammograms are called back of those only 8-10% are found to have breast cancer.

Wednesday morning, I got in the car and went to Victoria General Hospital for my appointment.  I was cheery and really not very worried that they would find anything.

I asked if I could see 2015s and 2016s views side by side.  I have to say, I was a little stunned.  There it was, a new, little unwanted formation in my breast.  We did the diagnostic mammo and she enlarged it so we could see it more clearly, and low and behold it looked like it had veins, even an artery! I thought very evil thoughts about the unnamed intruder.

I had the ultrasound and was laughing and goofing off -- then the tech said, we'll have to do a biopsy, can you stay?  I said of course.  When the physician came in to do the biopsy we laughed and talked then he said, ok let me see the screen and when he saw it -- his demeanor completed changed.  I outright told him and his team that they need to work on their "poker face".  He laughed, a forced low laugh....and I said, ya, like that...

I watched the biopsy on the screen, 3 little bits wound up in a solution and off to the lab it went.  I was told the results would be back in 4-5 business days and make an appointment to see my GP.

I got dressed, left the hospital and made it to my car when I came completely unglued.  I was crying so hard I couldn't see my car.

You see, cancer is hard.  And I knew I was looking at breast cancer.  I got myself into the car and cried and cussed for a full 20 minutes on my way back to my office.

I just got back to my office and I'm stunned.  Even though for 16 years of mammos, this just didn't seem to be a reality. 

My appointment is now booked with my GP for Friday, November 4th.  And now we wait.

The renovation starts...finally

This post is going to be coming and going for probably the remainder of the year.  So, here it starts.

We've decided to finally start the renovations that we had planned when we purchased this house in July 2011.  It's only been 5 years in the making!

In our defence, we didn't do the renovation in 2012 due to Fred the cancerous lump.  Each year since then, it's been a struggle to either catch up to unemployment or something, so 2016 is the year!

We have decided to reno our bedroom and add a closet.  The front bedroom will be turned into my office as I am encouraged to work from home with my new job.

Next we moved  from our bedroom into the spare room.  This is tough,  not only will we not have rental income from the room, we are going to be spending money.  This, I am not good at.  In fact, I'm terrible at this.

Then, we needed to find a way to deal with the debris we were going to accumulate.  So, while cruising online I found an old tent trailer.  We offered him about $100 and put about $26 worth of insurance on it.  We knocked out the "tent" part of it and voila a trailer to carry our debris!

So, I started into the walls.  We were sure it was 'under' insulated, but we really had no idea.  There wasn't a stitch of insulation in any of the office walls.  We cleared the lathe and plaster from the room and then broke into our room.  (Max did this while I was in Saskatoon).

Other than finding that there is not a stitch of insulation, we've had to redo the electrical work.  Due to the way that the floor was laid, we've had to pull up the baseboard trim--past the wood floor.

So far, nothing in this renovation has been easy or simple...that's what makes a renovation right?

We've moved almost everything out of the room, we started with a clean slate. 

I've masked off the room to keep the dust from going anywhere else in the house.  I've also covered the floor with cardboard to protect the wood floor.

Due to a poor set of lungs, Kent made me wear a respirator while I tore apart the walls.  It was an amazingly dusty job!

The only insulation is a birds nest!

It took forever, probably 4 hours to get this wall clean--exposed knob and tube wiring exposed.

29 January 2016

29 January 2016 - Today marks the 4th anniversary that we found Fred the lump.  Not gonna lie, I don't miss him a little bit!

We mark anniversaries of all sorts in our house, tonight--we celebrate. 

Ding Dong, Fred is gone!

When you ring in the New Year with a Migraine....

December 31, when you ring in the new year with a migraine it might be an omen on the year.  Right?

I remember years ago crying in the new year and it was definitely an omen...of sorts.  It was a rough year.

I've been thinking and walking around on egg shells and decided to ditch that thought and embrace the year.  No more negative nelly.

And then the deaths started.  Has there ever been a year when so many people that have touched your life have left the earth in such a short time?

Natalie Cole
David Bowie
Alan Rickman
Glenn Fry
Abe Vigoda

The week that David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Glenn Fry passed...what a week.

I remember finding David Bowie's music and being profoundly drawn to not only the sound, but what he said.  Then he married Iman and I was hooked.

Alan Rickman, who can forget the Sherriff of Nottingham, (1991 Robin Hood Prince of Thieves), Colonel Brandon, (1995 Sense and Sensibility), or Harry (2003 Love, Actually).  He was an amazing Actor and he will be missed.

Then, Glenn Fry, I was speechless.  This was meaning that I am getting to the age where -- people who influenced me are leaving the earth.....and way too many, way too fast!

How did I get that old?  I still remember being in Grade 3 when the teacher told us we could leave for lunch if someone in the room could do the following math problem.  How old will you be when the year 2000 comes around.  2000-1968=I'll never get to that age!  I honestly thought I'd never see it.

Glenn Fry gave me songs I could sing to.  Thank you Glenn, Natalie and David for the music.  I'm still singing.

I can't tell you why - The Eagles

Let's Dance - David Bowie

The Horie Family Year in Review (June - December)

In June Melissa graduated from University with a BSc, in Microbiology and Immunology.  We were incredibly proud of her.  It was so quickly after our trip to the UK, none of us could be there.  

We had an opportunity in June we just couldn't turn down.  We became Beekeepers!

{Insert Bee stats}

June was back to work and what a whirl wind turned out to be.

In June I had my normal workload plus 3 pay periods to catch up on.  Kent had a bunch of training to do -- because July was coming and fire season was in full swing.

Fire Season.  We knew Kent would be busy, but we had no idea.  In a 62 day period this summer Kent was gone for 31. 

So I kept the house going and Kent was in and out.  When he was home, he was on call a lot so he was busy all summer.

June we said good bye to Philipp and Angel.  They were our German and Mexican students and we were really, really sad to see them go.  Philipp's mom and sister came to tour BC, Alberta and Alaska.  We had them stay over one night before they were on their way.

July we had 2 new students come for the month.  Adrian and Carlos came from Mexico.  They were adorable.  We again, were sad when the month went by so fast--the amazing thing about having all these students come and go, we have extended family all over the world.

It was in July when Kent said he had to go to Pemberton.  Pemberton.  The place that people go to but don't come out of.  Seriously, all of his coworkers had gone to Pemberton but at the time of his departure, NO ONE had come back.  So, I said, See ya, it's been nice knowing you.

Kent was stationed right beside the music festival and they partied until 4.45am and Kent's alarm was set for 6.  He came home exhausted.

In August, Kent got home from Pemberton with just enough time to get to Tofino.  The Fricker side of the family gathered for Nathan and Emily's wedding in Tofino.  It was a gorgeous weekend, we had a blast with our family.  I was a very proud Auntie to see Nathan chose such an amazing woman, my sister Arlene looked fabulous -- it was a great weekend.

At the end of August, I had a meltdown.  We celebrated out 4th Victorian anniversary--that is a great thing!  Although we felt completely alone here.  It's difficult to find friends here and I love having time with Kent, Lucas and Max, other friends are essential in life.  It's great to have so much time with Kent--please don't get me wrong.

In September, I decided it was time to leave Colwood Church.  I'd had enough of feeling included when we were with in the doors of the church, but Sunday afternoon to Saturday night we didn't have any contact with church goers.  I made a plan to leave, to finish up the obligations we had.  It was announced that the Church was hearing this same thing from many people so they decided to do a Community Groups.  We joined a group and have made some friends. 

To make friends Kent and I joined Friends of Music Society.  We are learning the ukulele in a group.  We thought this would be a good way to make friends.....then, first night, I thought, this is a little "different" group....but I couldn't put my finger on it.

A couple weeks in, I asked and the group is called a "mixed nuts" group.  Community members mixing with people who have mental health issues and need to be integrated into community.  Well, that explained a few things.

In September we had decided not to have any students.  The school said if we didn't take 2 we didn't get any......they sealed that decision for us.  Then, they called with, we have one.....so we took in Miguel from Spain.

For Thanksgiving, we went to Saskatchewan.  We had a weekend with the whole family.  We skipped having thanksgiving dinner and opted to serve dinner down the street to the Indian Friendship Society.  We loved it--we had a blast!  It was really hard to say goodbye and come home.  It's always tough to leave Melissa and Jon.

November we opened out house to Anna, she was moving here from Kelowna and we thought it would be good for me to have another girl around.  Except, she's never here, she works so much.  She has been a joy, she is currently readying herself to move out...she's finding a place this month (January) with her boyfriend.

We took a quick trip to the Okanagan in November.  I came home exhausted.  We spent the days with my parents but then we would race to Kelowna to see friends.  We went on walks with my parents and watched a ton of day time TV.  We did have the chance to see a number of friends that are family.  We got to hold Lady Aspen Grey right after she was born.  We hung out with Kim and Chris Tingstad and their kids, we saw Jadon and Natasha, just before they got married.  We spent Sunday at Emmanuel Assembly, it's always going to be home.  It's had some big changes, but the people we the same, friendly, loving.  Home.

In November, I had an opportunity to move out of Research and Capacity Building and I took a job with Research Ethics and Compliance.  It's been a steep learning curve, I love the team and I love my job.  Over the next 7 weeks, I did my new job and transitioned out of my old job.

December, I was still transitioning.  It was a long hard haul.  In fact, as I write this, I am still transitioning.  I get calls and emails daily for my old job.  Sometimes, I let my phone ring--thinking that if I don't give an instant answer, they'll figure it out themselves.  :)

We had a great Christmas, small and understated.  Max, Lucas, Kent and I ate, played games, watched movies and chilled.  It's the first year in YEARS that Kent had to work the week of Christmas and New Years.  I took the week of Christmas off and chilled.  I was so happy not to be working.

As I've looked back over 2015, it feels like we are finally hitting our stride in Victoria. 

I'm looking forward to what 2016 has to offer. It's gonna be great, right?

The Horie Family Year in Review (May)

May, my favourite month of 2015.  We were all together in the UK, adventuring.

The Orkney's call to me in a way I can't explain.  It resonates in me.  When I think about it, I want to cry I miss it so much. 

Kirwall Harbour, Orkney Island, May 4, 2015



This photo is probably my most favourite.  He had a terrible 2014.  If my year of misery was 2012, he took 2014.  He was strong through that year, when I proposed that we go to Scotland in 2015, he was shocked but believed in me that I could do this without breaking the bank.  He loves me completely.  He is always my biggest fan, support and I gain great strength from him.  I'm looking forward to what 2016 will bring us.



King and Queen of Stirling Castle for the day.

 


The Windy Wallace Monument.  Perfect picture except the wind blew up my scarf...and we had a photo bomber...


 
The Kelpies.  Last time we were here we drove by while they were under construction.  100' tall monuments to the impact of the horse in Scottish culture.

 

I will love you my whole life, you and no other.  Our 25th anniversary gift to each other. It's matching silver bands with thistles and trinity knots repeated. (We didn't do this on our 25th anniversary trip, this time, we made sure we found something we both liked and renewed our vows to each other)




He hates to travel but he did this for me.  I'm so thankful that he is part of our family.  I love him so much and I am so proud of him.


Queens Park Rangers vs Newcastle.  We watched QPR win, but lose relegation and end up out of the Premier League.  It was a dream come true.



From York.  I wanted to see a real Medieval City.  We were amazed.

 

 

 

Holding hands across the border, Kim in England, Kent in Scotland.
 


I love Scotland, I can't wait to go back.



Maxwell, May 2, 2015



Yes please!!

 

 
 
 
















We walked over the Tower Bridge.

Every holiday should have a subway.  <3


 
The best way to see London!

Kirwall Harbour, Orkney Island, May 2015

Landing in Orkey, I'm almost home.

The Horie Family Year In Review (January to April)

January

In December of 2014 - handed back the leadership of the youth ministry at Colwood.  We had hired a youth pastor and although he was here in December, so that he could be oriented, I continued to work on the ministry until the end of December.   The 31st could come fast enough, I was tired.

 

Saying goodbye December 31, 2014

 

January started with a real low in this house.  Melissa and Jon went home to Saskatchewan on the 31st and Kent had been unemployed for 11 months and the weight of it all was grinding us down.  Kent was spending everyday applying at every job he could find.  At the very end of January he was hired at Black Apple Cellular, repairing phones.  He loved the people he worked with, but working with the public is not something Kent ever aspired to do.  He'd often shake his head at my stories of working with public.

January, Melissa was working on her BSc, Jonathan on his MBA and Max on his 2nd year Sciences.  They were all very busy.

I was working full time in Research and at home.  We had taken on the fullest amount of students and renters we could to stay afloat.  Kent and I were couponing, cooking and cleaning, and parenting, parenting, parenting!  Fortunately, for this house, we were able to stay afloat through 2014-2015.

We also decided that maybe it was time to look at downsizing our house.  We thought that if things didn't change, we should maybe consider moving.  So, I spent a weekend packing up the house and staging.  It looked amazing when I was done....

We decided Kent and I needed a break--we decided to go to Vancouver.  So, with my couponing and free ferry rides, a free hotel we were off.  We met with Jamie and Josh, had breakfast with Patrick and Scott.  Money was stupidly tight, but we managed the whole weekend to be free with the exception of food and gas.

 

 

February 

 

After 2 weeks  of working at Black Apple, Kent was hired to work with the Government on a contract basis.  He wondered if he should've applied, but the job description fit him so well, I encouragement him to take the 6 month contract.


So, he interviewed and got the job, then explained he needed time off in May....we'd been planning a trip to Scotland and they agreed!

I know what you're thinking, money is incredibly short and we're going to Europe....We decided to gift Kent this for his 50th birthday, Melissa graduating from her BSc and Jon from his MBA.  All would happen in 2015.

The 17th is  Melissa's 23 birthday.  It's hard for me to even write that.  During January and February Melissa and I spent a lot of time talking and emailing plans for our trip to Scotland.  It was great fun to plan with her.

March

March, Max turns 21.  He's legal everywhere now.  He's a joy to have in our house and I'm thankful for these times that he's still here with us.

I celebrated Beer Week and International Women's Day by doing a bike tour in Victoria with a friend.  I liked the idea of the biking, not the beer.  I'm not a beer drinker.  I had a great time, although part way through, my introvert kicked in and I wanted to find a corner and a good book.  I didn't drink much at all -- just sips to determine, I'm not a beer drinker.

 



April

 

One of my favourite coworkers was away for part of April and into May, so I had some time to orchestrate one my best office pranks:

 

 

In April, I had been working tons.  We still had all of our students, renters, I was cooking ahead for the students while we were in the UK.  Kent and I were falling into some routine with his new job.  Every evening, I was working on our trip to the UK and cooking and baking. I was madly looking forward to May 1, when we'd leave the house for the ferry.  (Which was free....)

 

On the last day of April, we took our students/renters out for dinner then we went to a movie.  The following day, we'd be off to London. Note:  flash in the movie theatre is not recommended....

 



 

Lucas, Philipp, Angel, Max and Bernardo

 

Turning out to be the worst blogger ever

I've been a terrible blogger.  I think part of it has been that since October, I haven't wanted to look at a computer once I get home.

So to catch you all up on life since my last posts:

Max is back in school--He's not got a terribly full load, but he's plugging along.  The food truck he was working on is taking a 3 month break--due to his boss' schedule.  So, he's on a volleyball team and with school he's keeping busy.

Lucas is still here with us, he's working ridiculous amount, but he's got a plan, it's another trip to Germany this Summer and he wants it all paid for.  He also will be going to other places in Europe, that is still to be determined. 

Melissa and Jon bought another house.  They still have their place in Kelowna that is rented out long term and they have decided to put down some roots in Saskatchewan.  It's a super cute little house (they love small living) that they are now renovating.  I think the move in date was end of November, but they are still not in.  They have done all the renos themselves, with help from Jon's Dad.

Melissa is working on her Masters (Immunology and Public Policy).  In February she'll be off to India for some schooling and Jonathan is working as a Electrical Engineer.  In October he graduated from his MBA.  They are busy people.

Kent is now a "real boy" at his Government job.  He was hired in February as a contractor and that they had hoped that they could roll him into a full time job, which he has.  We high fived each other and enjoyed the peace of mind that this brings.  It's a big difference over last year.

In October I was still with Research and Capacity Building.  I was the Administrative Assistant to the Director of Research.  We had been working toward adding to my job description--adding Research Office Coordinator.  (I can't be a Manager as that means that I have to have oversight to budgets, which I don't).

My co-worker in Research Ethics and Compliance had talked about leaving (since about August).  She was working in a role that she was not using her Masters degree, and was looking for a change.  Periodically we would talk about it, but it was not something that was really on my radar.

And then she left.  Her Manager came and told me she'd like me to apply and that I'd be good for the role.  She then talked to the Director about snagging me for her department.

So, I applied.  I interviewed.  I won the position.  And I have been incredibly overwhelmed since then.

The job is vastly different and it seems that there's 10 rules and 25 exceptions per rule.  Having said that I am really, really, enjoying the opportunity this job has given me.  I love my team.  I love the peace and quiet of my office.  I don't miss a lot from working in my old position, except a few of the people.

So, that being said, I should be doing my year in review, that will follow.  For now, I don't want to look at this computer!