Let the beautiful stuff out.

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out. Ray Bradbury

I am not sure how I feel about this.  I do feel some anger.  That's for darn sure.  But the over-riding emotion is really hard to put my finger on.

Kent's family is not coming to the wedding in August.  There won't be a biological family member for Kent there.  That angers me.  Not that they decided not to come, but rather, the hurt that I see in my daughter and husband.

I can't make them come, if I could, I would.  

So I am left with angry.  Kent is hurt but in this moment he is being positive on their part, which I have to say is a lot stronger and bolder a reaction than I am having.  Melissa really wanted them at the wedding too and her initial reaction was laced with hurt.

So I hurt, and I am dealing with this--it is taking me some time to process...

One of the things that I have often said to the teens I work with is this:  Sometimes our earthly family fails us, that's why God has given us the community of the church family.  The church family will fail us too, but we have so much family built into our lives, how can we not succeed when you have a host of people standing behind you?

My church family.  They have been really great this week, they have been bringing food over, visiting, its been very encouraging--after the battle that was the first 2 weeks of this round of chemo.

Last night, my long friend Sandy came over with a fabulous dinner.  As she was readying to leave she said, "I'll get my kids and get out of your hair."  A nanosecond pause and we burst out laughing.  

I HAVE NO HAIR!

I love her, she is just so amazing.

The other day while driving around town with Melissa my head was getting hot, so I pulled off my toque, it wasn't cool enough, so I pulled off the doorag I was wearing.  Still no relief, so I rolled the window down....and said, "Oh the wind in my hair feels so great!"  Melissa laughed, and I said, "No, the one hair in the back of my head is very happy!"

I have to laugh.  Any bit of stress gives me chest pains, so news like family not coming, watching a stressful movie, hurts.

So today, I am letting go of my in-laws decision not to come.  Wild horses couldn't keep me from going to see my niece get married, relationships are really important to me.  

I was playing the piano earlier when I got a text from my newest friend, Jackie Palmer, Melissa's soon to be Mother-in-law.  She said, "I will drop off supper this morning at about 10 or so...."

She showed up here with a huge dinner, 2 pies, ice cream, she went all out!  She hugged me and left to go downtown with another friend.

Family: you can't live without them, and you can't live without them.  They are always precious no matter what.  I love my family, my in-laws and my church family.  

So today, I have to find a way to let it all go and let the beautiful stuff out.