Time to practice what I preach.

‎"I shall pass through this world but once. Any good thing that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I will not pass this way again" -Unknown


I hate the term YOLO (You Only Live Once).  I have to say that I agree, I only live once.


A number of days ago, I was challenged with showing compassion to a person who was rude.  Today, I was put in that exact position.  The mantra today was, I maybe the only Jesus this woman will see.  Be His hands, be His feet.  Show compassion.


I had chemo today, never a fun day.


I was asked if a "student nurse" (who looked like she should have been retired) could work on me with her supervisor.  I am not sure if she was just going for her chemo diploma or if it was a perceptorship, or a student.  It didn't matter to me.  I think that when people are training they need practice, so I have never said no.


I may change my mind about that....

My nurse put in my IV, which hurt like stink.  She then started the IV flowing and pinched it off, normally that would make the blood in my vein flow back into the IV line.  She pinched, no blood.  She literally said, Oh well I am sure it's fine.  I said, I don't think so, I think there is supposed to be blood.

Before the chemo started I went to the bathroom and pinched the IV myself.  Not seeing the blood was a concern for me.  When I came out I happened to cross paths with her supervisor.  I told her about the IV and she sat me down i my chair and corrected the IV with the student watching.

The student came by with my oral meds, Tylenol, Benadryl and Prednisone.  

Then they started with the chemo drugs.   The first one the supervisor showed her how to push it, it has to be diluted by the IV.  It could "kill" the vein if not being careful.  

The next syringe, the student did -- which she pushed hard.  She was properly supervised and the student did really well.  

She came by with a bottle of my "step down" Prednisone so I don't have a crash.  It hit me a short time later that I didn't get my 5 days of Prednisone, which I normally get from the BC Cancer Agency Pharmacy--so I asked..to which the nurse said, I already gave that to you.  I said, you gave me my weaning Prednisone, but not my weekly dose.  She brought my file over and showed me....

Lightbulb.

I think we both figured it out at about the same time.  She gave me 5 days of Prednisone at once.

I was sick to my stomach.  I think she was horrified.

I dismissed myself and went to the bathroom.  I had a good, good cry.

She went back to her supervisor and they both came and talked to Kent and I.  They were incredibly sorry for the mistake and had called the GP Oncologist and Medical Oncologist for advice.  When the GPO and the Med Onc came over they explained things clearly to Kent and me.  

When the student came back I had the moment of--now is the time to practice what I preach.  Will I be forgiving of the mistake or bite her head off.  I think I had just cause.

I didn't.  I told her mistakes happen.  We all make mistakes at work, we are human.  

As she walked away, I began the mantra I mentioned earlier.  I need to be Jesus to her.  I maybe the only Jesus she sees all day.

I also want to say, I am no doormat.  There will be an inquiry to the mistake, there will be calls made--the supervisor initiated that conversation--I really appreciated the honesty the two nurses had.

When all this started people sent me a number of scriptures that I highlighted in my bible.  One friend, Cindy, sent me Psalm 121.  I memorized it as best as I could...and used it during my bone marrow biopsy when I was getting scared. Today, I reminded myself of it--not knowing what I would be facing with this "overdose" of Prednisone.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

    where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.
 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.
 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.
 The Lord will keep you from all harm —
    he will watch over your life;
 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.


I am resting in the promises of God.  He will keep me from harm and I know He has been watching over my life, my whole life.