Such confusion!

Last night was not a good night.  I was up every 1/2 hour to hour.  It was a long night followed by a very long day.

The worst part of this week has been overwhelming confusion.  I actually had a moment this week, where I honestly thought I could successfully plan AND execute a bank robbery.

It seemed all so clear in my mind.

Another confusing situation had plagued my mind all week.  See, I thought a friend contacted me with an idea for fund raising for a 3rd world country.  She was wanting to help people with motorized wheelchairs.  So, in my head I thought, I need to get her in contact with my Cousin Scott, and someone else, who made perfect sense to raise the funds needed for her project.

It wasn't until this morning that I realized that NONE of this had happened, her initial email to me, contacting Scott.  You see this morning, I was dreaming that she wanted to do a black tie fund raiser at the Hotel Vancouver...she asked me to be the honorary chairperson.  She would never spend that kind of money to raise money.  In fact, I don't believe that Scott would either.  And the fact that I could not remember the 3rd person I contacted -- made no sense!

I was feeling overwhelmed and a disoriented.  As I was grappling with this reality--my phone rang.

There is a person who contacts me about every 3 months.  He thinks he wants to be with me, but the stark reality is--I love Kent and don't want to have anything to do with him.  I have tried to block numbers, but he calls from a different number each time, I have been successful blocking facebook, but it just seems when I am at my weakest, I get these calls.

I rolled over in bed, held onto Kent and cried.  My only hope for reality right now is him.  He is keeping me so grounded.

Shortly after that, I got a text from a friend in distress.  For about an hour, I walked her through her struggle, I thought, as the conversation ended....I am seriously, completely exhausted.

My favourite part of today, was my big outing to Canadian Tire.  I love the smell of Canadian Tire, it reminds me of a time in life was just so simple.  Easy.  As I held Kent's hand and we walked down the aisle, I realized, this is the reality that I love so much.  Him.  Simple.  Easy-Peasy.  We got what he needed and a little of what he didn't, which is just so Canadian Tire...as we left there, we were able to pick up part of Max's grad gift.  We came home and Kent set about to putter has he does on his days off.

My love, my life.  I am just so grateful for such an authentic, fiercely loyal, mutually respectful loving Husband.  In all my life I will never understand why I got so incredibly blessed to have him.

Thank you God for Kent.  No one could be more amazing for me.