Doubt. Overwhelming Doubt.

So, I uproot your family.  It's against all odds.  Leaving my beloved daughter behind, taking my son out of his friendship group as he is about to enter Grade 12, because you feel "called" to Victoria, and under the most unbelievable circumstances....I leap.

In leaping, I didn't realize the suffocating loneliness I would experience.  The loss of a beloved job and employer, the ministry, the life, the friends, but it still seems like you are meant to be here.

Until today.

Today, I doubt it all.  I didn't doubt it when I got cancer like I am seriously doubting now.

I know it's all under control...but today, it's out of control.  My heart is heavy, I am broken.

Last night, I gave a PUBLIC declaration of my faith, speaking at youth--declaring the goodness of the Lord and today, we are under fire.

Kent was told today that his job was "redundant" and that due to "restructuring" he was laid off.  Broken, he called me for a ride home.

Stunned.  Now, we are in the living room, stunned....now what?  Where do we go from here?

Were we really supposed to go?  Were we really supposed to be uprooted the way we were?

Waiting on the Lord for direction.

Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness,

And Your law is truth.

¹⁴³ 

Trouble and anguish have overtaken me,

Yet Your commandments are my delights.

¹⁴⁴ 

The righteousness of Your testimonies is everlasting;

Give me understanding, and I shall live.