Mamma said there'd be days like these....

She did, I am sure of it.  She also said, "just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it."

She is brilliant really.

The day hasn't been the problem, but rather the night last night.  For some reason Fred decides that he is going to act like a terrible two, but only at night.

As dawn was approaching, my eyes WIDE open....frustration building, I realized something of very grand proportions.

Two weeks ago, I went forward for prayer, for Fred to leave, (I know, what a rude host I am...) and that the pain he was causing would cease.  And cease now.  I had been about 2 weeks in a drug induced fog and the pain was not being controlled.  I had had enough.

I was lovingly prayed over my by hubby, my kids, my community group and pastors.  As the day progressed I realized I still fogged out had forgotten to take my pain medications.

It was the last time I took pain meds for Fred.

I believe and I stand on the promise that God healed me--the pain was hard to describe, the over-riding sensation was burning, nerve pain with pulsing, twitching pain that would double me over.

Last night, I refused to take pain medication.  I know, that I know, I was healed and that the pain is gone and I am clinging to that.

Then all of a sudden, I had streaming in my head, "Then He said to them all, " If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross DAILY, and follow me."


Daily.


Since the Sunday I was healed if I felt a twinge, a burn, an ache, I literally rebuked it--Kim style.  You've GOT to be kidding me, I'd say, I am not taking this back!  Screw you Satan.  It's not mine any longer, it's under the blood where it belongs.


Pain would be gone.


So this morning in the very small hours of a Sunday morning, I crept out of bed, took an ice pack back to bed with me, Fred likes a good ice pack, and began to pray.  When the verse Luke 9: 23 rambled through my head When about 10 minutes had passed the pain instantly vanished.


Lesson learned.  It is mine.  Daily I will pick up my cross, the one You have chosen for me to bear up--and follow after You.  I will not deny my faith in this time, I will not turn my back on what I know is right.  You, O Lord, have allowed this to happen to me--I refuse to ask why me, but rather why not me?