To come full circle. Almost.

It's a beautiful sunny day in Victoria, my deck out back is hot!hot!hot! And I am freezing.  Seriously, cold.

The wonderful part of being me is I can't be in the sun for too long before I start to go pink.  This is a new thing for me....I can't stay in the sun long enough to warm up and if I move to the shade it is too cold.

Grrrr.

It took me a couple days to process my moment with God on the kitchen floor.  You see, I feel like I have come a little bit of a full circle in my process.

January 26th, I had a very similar God moment on my kitchen floor.  I had just dropped Max off at the Ferry to go to Kelowna for the weekend...I had gotten home and was praying for my son.  I told God in my brokenness and my desperation for my son that I would do whatever it took for God's glory and REALITY to be revealed to Max.  I would walk through any trial, I would submit myself to whatever God decided was needed to get Max's attention.  I was on the kitchen floor, worship music in the background and I wept before the Lord and laid my life down, all of it, for God's use.

It was 3 days later that I was in the Emergency Department at Victoria General Hospital checking out this little lump in my leg--which was named Fred, the lymphoma.

As the process has gone forward I have used humour (What do you call a person who compulsively gets lymphoma over and over again?  A Lymphomaniac...), I have leaned hard on the Lord, His word, (coffee and the word.....), His provision of encouragement from friends through music and scripture and prayer.  I have leaned hard on Kent, Max, Melissa and Jonathan.

I have only had a few low days.  When I think that the miracles that I have had in my life since January 26th -- it is mind boggling.

I have had moments where I think I can control this, organize this and then I slowly realize that I am at the mercy of the Drs and God's good sense of humour.

So, my moment with God on the kitchen floor--it feels like it has come full circle from Janauary 26th to July 17th.  I went from I will do whatever it takes Lord    to    Do whatever it takes Lord.


My surrender Tuesday was sweet, it felt like it was all falling into place.  Finally letting go of it all my stuffs, my health, my fears, my concern for Kent who is doing so much, Max, Melissa and Jonathan's wedding, all of it so that God can take it ALL and use it for his Glory.


I have experienced overwhelming peace in the last couple of days.  It's my life but there is this feeling of freedom and release that I just can't process into words.

God is great, He is so much more than awesome.  And all he requires of me is to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God.

I wish I had gotten this lesson so much faster--but I wouldn't give up the process to be here today for anything.